Insane Together
by auroranor
Summary: After confessing to being the killer in a mass murder Hidan is institutionalized on the verdict of insanity. He denies that he will spend the rest of his life in the corrupt asylum until he meets the psychologist, Dr. Kakuzu Taki, who seems to be one of the only people who will really listen to him. Kakuhida.
1. Amegakure Institute

Hidan, a handsome twenty-two year old with piercing violet eyes and slicked back silver hair, fidgeted in the stiff wooden chair. He and his lawyer, a young woman with blue hair and a fierce reputation, waited for the jury to return with their final decision. Hidan twitched nervously at the sound of the muttering audience watching his case. The courtroom was packed to the brim with people, reporters, other types of media, and cops. The whole lot of them could go to hell for all he cared. They weren't his friends and family packed in the seats. The only people he ever called family were dead, and, hopefully, he soon would be too.

The silver haired man glanced at the woman sitting beside him and whispered to her, "Konan this is taking too fucking long. If those asses take any longer with the verdict I'm gonna explode. Can you, like, do something? Say something?"

She put a hand on his arm, "There isn't anymore we can do. We did our best and now we can only wait."

Hidan put his face in his hands and rubbed his eyes. The past one in a half years had lead up to this moment. Going to court, waiting for more court dates, talking to people who hated him for what he'd done, talking to those who'd shown pity on him for what he'd done, but the worst part was the media assholes that followed him around like parasites after the debacle went public. His face and story seemed to be everywhere; newspapers, magazines, the internet, television, and they all read similar headlines: "78 Killed In Bloody Cult Mass Murder", "Soul Survivor of Jashinist Cult Confessed To Killing", "Jashinist Cult Member Says Only Regret Is That He Wasn't Killed", "Jashinist Cult Member To Be Tried For Death Penalty", and, Hidan's personal favorite he saw on the popular buzzfeed website, "Is It Me Or Is The Jashinist Cult Killer Really Sexy?" He'd heard it all, and the plaintiffs against him were full of so many frustrating questions that he'd already answered hundreds of times.

They asked him, "Why did you kill so many innocent people?", "Why are you the only survivor?"

"He gave them the same answers every time, "God told me to and God told me to." What was so hard to fucking understand? His God, Lord Jashin, told him to kill those people, and honestly they wanted to die. It was only a shame that Lord Jashin didn't let him die with them, and if the death penalty was inevitable like most of his lawyers said than so be it. Death didn't scare him. For all Hidan knew he could be immortal, and he made sure the court knew that too by professing his belief loudly while impaling himself in the neck with a pen in front of the jury. Pain felt good to him. It connected him with something indescribable.

The pounding of the judge's gavel jolted him from his daze and he saw the jury come back to sit in their places. A man from the group stood up, "The jury has reached a decision."

The entire room dropped into silence as Hidan's fate was finally decided.

"We find the defendant… not guilty by ruling of insanity.

"What?" Hidan said loudly and stood from his seat, "You people think I'm fucking crazy? I'm not crazy you stupid fucks!"

The chatter and chaos in the room erupted and two police officers jumped up to restrain Hidan.

"Get away from me!" He said, "Konan I said I wanted to die! Konan! Listen to me!" The woman in question ignored the pleading and started to make a path through the room of rushing people. Hidan broke free from the cop's hold and leaped over the small divider, which only intensified the pandemonium in the room.

He grabbed Konan by the arm and spun her around, "I said I wanted to die! What the fuck is going to happen to me?"

"Hidan I'm sorry. I did what I thought was right. I'm sorry Hidan I-"

"You think I'm a fucking lunatic? Is that what you think? Fuck you! Fuck all of you!" Hidan screamed as the cops dragged him into the back room. The officers chained him to a nailed down metal table and slammed the door shut. Hidan continued to curse and scream until exhaustion took over, as it always did when he got into one of his freinzies, and he collapsed onto the floor and slept.

"Hidan. Hidan. It's me, Deidara, wake up hmm? " The blonde nudged Hidan on the shoulder. Over the past year Deidara traveled as an assistant to the famous doctor and psychologist, Sasori Akasuna, studying Hidan's mental health and psychoanalyzing him. Hidan, although he found no interest in Sasori and thought his questioning sessions were boring as hell, actually bonded with Deidara and the two became rather close acquaintances.

"What's going on?" Hidan slurred. He could feel he was in a vehicle and strapped to a board of some kind, but when he tried to stretch his arms he found his wrists restrained. He struggled hard against them, "What's the fuck is going on!"

"Hidan! Look at me!" Deidara said.

"What the fuck are you doing here? Where the fuck are we going?"

"Hidan! Think about what happened! You know what's going on. You need to calm down, man. Take some deep breaths. Don't start freaking out again. I already had to sedate you once hmm. Not that I mind stabbing you with a needle. You should be going to get euthanized like a dog after killing all those people hmm."

"That's right the verdict…" Hidan said, "I wanted to die but those bastards think I'm fucking mental!"

"No shit, Hidan. If it were up to me I would've just strapped a bomb to your face and blew you to pieces, but that's not the case is it hmm?"

"God, you're annoying. Undo these stupid straps would you? I gotta take a piss."

"Hidan… listen to me. Dr. Akasuna and I have worked with Konan for the past year to get you off death row, because we knew you before all the Cult shit and before your life got fuck up."

"Ha! I fucking knew it, you piece of shit! I knew it was you and Doc-tor Aka-su-na," Hidan mocked, "and I thought the two of you were on a first name basis after you sucked his cock and all!"

"Hidan you don't fucking listen!"

"Tell me where we're going, Deidara!"

"Where the hell do you think, dumbfuck! You were deemed legally insane! You're being institutionalized!"

"What? Like a looney bin! What are they gonna do drug me up and put me in the corner to drool and piss on myself? God I gotta get the hell outta here. Deidara you gotta help me."

"I'm trying but you keep talking. Look," Deidara held up a syringe, "Inject yourself with this, and you'll be dead in two minutes flat, and you can stop bothering my life."

Hidan looked at the yellow fluid filled medical instrument, "Deidara I can't kill myself. Suicide is a sin, and not just any sin but a big sin. You have to do it for me."

"Fine."

"Oh no you will not, Deidara," A stern voice sounded from the front of the vehicle and a red head appeared behind the caged partition.

"Oh God you're here too. Fantastic," Hidan said at the sight of Sasori.

"Hidan we're bringing you to the Amakagure Institute. When we get there they will give you clothes, a room, medicine, and anything else you could need. You will also be seeing a new psychiatrist and doctor.

"Oh suck a dick, Sasori," Hidan said.

"We will be their soon, and Deidara if he's dead by the time this truck stops at the institute I'll leave you in his place," Sasori slammed the partition closed again.

"So I guess blow jobs really don't get you on a first name basis?" Hidan said.

"I hope you rot in the institute," Deidara replied.

The two waited in silence until the truck came to a stop. Two happy looking nurses dressed in white opened the back doors and undid the restraints on Hidan. Hidan held out his hands to be cuffed, although he hated being restrained it had been regulation for the last year and a half, and they lead him into the grey double doors of the Amekagure Institute with Sasori and Deidara following not far behind.

Hidan looked at the too white walls of the institution as he was lead through the large hallways. 'I'm going to end up back in court if I have to stay in this place for more than a month.' Hidan thought.

Their first stop was behind a glass door where a large man entered alongside another happy nurse and told him to strip naked. They lifted his arms up and the man patted him down.

"Turn around and squat," the man said. Hidan did as he was told although he scowled the entire time and tried to maintain as much eye contact with the guard as possible.

"Change into these," the man said holding out a pocketless gray smock, matching pants, and socks.

"What about shoes?" Hidan said.

"Residents are only allowed shoes when outside."

"Well that's a stupid rule…" Hidan muttered.

After he was changed the woman took the group for a short tour. They stopped in a medium sized room with a beat up blue couch and a matching love seat. The room also had a small television, book shelves filled with tattered old books, a coffee table with magazines on it, and two windows. Of course Hidan noticed the windows were barred and the room was the same sickening white as the rest of the halls.

"This is the common room," the nurse said, "You can come here to play board games, watch movies, chat with other residents, and just have a grand good time!"

"I'd rather die," Hidan deadpanned.

"Ha ha, what a comical one you are! So happy to have you stay with us! Let's move on."

They walked a bit more to a large cafeteria filled with patients.

"And this is our Mess Hall! All of your meals will be eaten in here unless otherwise notified."

"It smells like shit it here," Hidan said. He watched as a patient sat down at the table in front of him and shove mashed potatoes down their pants. Hidan turned with a murderous look aimed at Sasori who starred with the same intensity right back.

"Fuck you, Sasori," Hidan said.

The room started to erupt with manic chatter, "Yeah fuck you! Ha! Fuck!" The noise started to get louder with cries, screams of profanities, and laughing. The nurse quickly ushered the group out and offered a half-apology.

"They are just so riled up and excited to have a new resident that's all! Let me show you to your room, and you can have a nice and well deserved rest."

As the group walked away a patient ran out of the cafeteria half naked and jumped on Hidan, "Murderer! Murderer! Mommy's got a Murderer!"

"Get off of me you crazy bitch!" Hidan yelled as he tried to throw her off his back.

A guard sprinted out of the cafeteria, grabbed the woman, dragged her enraged form into the nearest room, and slammed the door shut.

"Oh, that's just Karin. She gets so excited for new residents," the nurse said.

"She tried to bite my fucking ear off!"

As they walked further down the halls Hidan wondered how he would survive in this asylum. This place was like a maze, Hidan thought. He'd never remember how to get around. They finally arrived to a yellow colored hallway, which actually somehow bothered Hidan more than the white ones, lined with simple wood doors. The nurse grabbed a key off the wall and walked to a room marked "21B." She jiggled the key around, opened the door, and motioned the party of three inside.

"And this is your new room," The nurse said, "Doors must remain unlocked during daytime hours, and locked during nighttime hours." The vomit colored room was nothing more than a small bed with a pillow and sheets, a metal bedpan, and a small barred window that brought in some of the fading daylight.

"What the fuck," Hidan said, "Get me the fuck out of here. I'm not staying here."

"You will learn to love it I'm sure!" The nurse said.

Hidan turned to the nurse and moved close until their faces were almost touching, "I hate this place, I hate the people who forced me here, and I fucking hate the color yellow. But you know what I hate most of all? Hmm? What I hate the most are people who smile all the time and pretend everything is so exciting and great," he said mockingly, "even when they would rather choke on their own shit."

The nurse looked mortified, stuttered a quick, "A guard will come by to unlock your handcuffs," and left the three to say their goodbyes.

"We will no longer be seeing you as a patient, Hidan," Sasori said.

"Fuck you."

"I'm leaving you in the hands of one of my colleges, Dr. Kakuzu Taki. He is an esteemed psychologist and his medical expertise is astounding. Enjoy your new life at the institute. I don't think you'll ever come out, but, it's better than a life sentence in jail, and, although you think different, it's better than death," with that said Sasori saw himself out.

"I'll come visit, hmm?" Deidara said.

"I hate you."

The blonde shrugged apologetically and followed Sasori down the hall.

Hidan sat on the bed and stared at his still cuffed hands. "There has to be someone in this shithole who would just slit my throat for me without thinking," he thought. Hidan laid down on the hard mattress. Although he'd apparently been restrained to a board all day, he was still exhausted. A guard came in to uncuff him, and when the man left Hidan heard him lock the door behind him. Hidan stared at the vomit colored wall until he could no longer keep his eyes open, and fell asleep.

Hidan woke up to a loud banging on his door and a click that signaled the door unlocking.

"Report to the Mess Hall for daytime medicine and breakfast."

"Fantastic," Hidan thought bringing the pillow up to his face, "fucking up at the crack of dawn." Hidan saw only a faded gray light through his window and guessed it was a rainy morning. He stretched in his bed and felt his bones crack. He looked at the bedpan with disgust but took a piss in it anyway noting that the smell permeating the surrounding hall was indeed piss and shit from the "residents." He peeked suspiciously out from his door. The hallway was starting to fill with passing patients. There was a melancholy man with long black hair tied neatly into a low ponytail and crease lines under his eyes that made him look tired, a purple haired woman with a snake tattooed on the side of her face, and the crazy redhead girl from yesterday.

"I made it through a year in prison so I can make it through this," Hidan thought.

He stepped out into the hallway and tried to keep his head down while following the others to the mess hall. He wasn't here to make friends nor did he want to. He's supposed to be dead, or at least be in line for it.

"Hey there. You're new here. Ain't cha?" The voice was annoying and loud, and when Hidan didn't answer he received a little poke in the shoulder.

Hidan snapped around and grabbed the man by the collar of his smock, "You better leave me the fuck alone."

"Oh ho ho! You really are the sexy Jashinist cult killer!" The man looked like he'd been run over by a bus on one side of his face. The other looked normal enough. "They call me Tobi around here, and I know who you are… Hidan. How about we sit together at breakfast?"

"How about I bash your face against the wall so you never talk again?"

"And then you'll get put away in solitary! If you like the room you're staying in I'm sure you'll love where they'll stick you if you make a mess on your first day."

"Fuck you. Don't talk to me. Ever." Hidan dropped Tobi's shirt and continued on.

When Hidan got to the mess hall he was practically dragged inside by a guard in a white uniform and forced to swallow a small cup of pills. He was pulled into the breakfast line by the same guard and given a tray with a bowl and spoon. As he moved, or was rather pushed, along the line by the other patients, a scoop of what he thought looked like oatmeal was slopped in his bowl. This was it? This was his breakfast? Even prison had better food. He pushed violently back into the line.

"Hey! What the hell? Do I get a fucking drink or something?"

The lady behind the counter had sharp eyes with large bags underneath. Her hair was thinning and it almost looked like her lower lip could fall off at any moment. She ignored him, but Hidan persisted.

"Hey lady. I'm fucking thirsty. You want me to die of thirst?"

The woman grabbed a cup, spit in it, and handed it to him.

That was it. Hidan was ready to storm the kitchen and beat this old bitch to a pulp when he felt an equally as annoying poke on his shoulder.

"You have to ask nicely, Hidan," the way Tobi said his name was drawn out and his voice lingered on the vowels.

"Didn't I tell you never to speak to me again?"

"Hey, Tia can I have a cup of water for my friend here, pretty please. He's new. Super crazy. Killed a whole gaggle of goose in one night. Said it was God's work." The lady behind the counter handed Tobi a full glass of water. "Thank you, beautiful. See not so hard is it, Hidan?"

Hidan grabbed the glass and sat in a wobbly chair at the most deserted table he could find. It was hard to isolate yourself because all of the tables were circular with the chairs crammed together in order to fit many people. Tobi plopped down beside him.

"I'll teach you all the ins and outs of this place! See that guard overthere?" Tobi pointed to a tall and muscular blue haired man in white giving out medicine to patients, "That's Kisame. He's a sweetheart. Nicest guy you'll ever meet. I once saw him knock out three residents having a fist fight. Also over there," Tobi pointed to the raven haired man from before, "That's Itachi Uchiha. He's here for the same reason you are; he killed a buncha' people. His whole family actually. I should know I was there watching. And over there-"

"I'm done. What do we do when we're done," Hidan said.

"Done with what? Oh, done with breakfast, doi! You have to wait until were dismissed. Then we can go back to our rooms, or maybe watch some T.V. I don't know. Whatever you like!"

"Thanks for the water. Don't follow me." Hidan got up from his seat, and while another patient was having a distracting hissy fit about not being about to sit on the floor, he snuck out the mess hall doors. Hidan wandered around for awhile until he found the common room, which was empty of course because everyone was still hoarded into the disgusting cafeteria. He skimmed through the magazines on the table. They were all outdated from years ago. He decided to try the books. Hidan hadn't read a book in years. He'd read only scriptures and verses from the Jashinist bible. His hand brushed passed the spines of the old books. To think people thought it was a cult! Ha! Jashin never asked for anything! Jashin gave! He gave understanding of others struggles through pain, and salvation through death! Hidan picked a book and looked at the cover, "In Cold Blood." Hidan decided he'd take the book back to his room to read. That sounded good enough to pass the time until he figured out a plan to get one of the crazies to shoot him in the head. Tobi would be easy enough to coerce or maybe, what was his name, the guy who killed family…"

"Don't take my books out of the common room."

"Excuse me. Your books?" Hidan turned to see a dark skinned man with long brown hair pulled together in a knot, but what struck him the most was the guy's face. It was scared into a glasgow smile and his eyes looked green and bloodshot.

"What the hell happened to you?" Hidan laughed, "You look like you just crawled out of mother fucking Halloween town. You know they have surgery to fix all of…" Hidan motioned around the other man's face with his hands, "all of this."

"You talk a lot. Do you know that?"

"And you're ugly. Do you know that? You could scare kids with that face."

"Why don't we have a chat, Hidan? You're not supposed to be out and about right now, but let's just blame it on the fact that you're new here and don't know how things work."

Hidan wasn't surprised the dude knew his name. It had been in every piece of media for the last year and a half. The scarred man sat on the larger of the two couches and motioned for Hidan to sit on the smaller one.

"Sorry. I don't want to chat."

"I insist." There was a pause in the encounter. The demeanor of this new person was hard and collected. It was calm, but not peaceful and happy, it was like the calm before a storm.

"You're not a crazy person are you? You don't look like one of them." Hidan could see the man wore a long sleeve fitted shirt and wool cardigan with comfortable looking slacks. He also wore shoes if the rest wasn't a huge give away that he wasn't a patient. His outfit was well put together and Hidan could see the hint of a muscular build underneath the layers. Hidan himself didn't skip out on workouts. He liked his body and was somewhat vain about his looks. Even in here he was determined not to let it all go. He'd find a way to workout in his room if he had to.

"No. I'm not a resident. Have a seat."

Hidan cautiously sat down, "who the fuck are you anyway?"

"I'm Dr. Kakuzu Taki. I'm one of the psychologists in this institution."

"Oi! So you're the new doc. How exciting," Hidan said sarcastically, "Sasori told me all about you. You're his esteemed college. God he spoke about you like you two fucked or something."

"Hidan can I ask you a question?"

"Ask away, Doc," Hidan smirked.

"Do you like it here? I know it's your first day, but what was your first impression?"

"Honestly the place is a complete shithole. Worse than prison. The food tastes like mashed up maggots and the rooms smell like piss and shit. Not to mention the batshit crazies that just walk around the place. I hate it. Can't wait to leave."

"Hidan you're not leaving. You know that right? Do you understand that this is your home now?"

"My lawyer and that stupid doctor Sasori fucked me over. I wanted to die."

"Then why don't you just kill yourself?"

"It's against my religion. Suicide is a horrible horrible sin. I'd put it at the top of the list of sins actually."

"That's interesting. What else is a sin in your religion, Hidan?"

"Ha. I can already tell you're better than Sasori. His questions are boring as hell. I could fall asleep standing up with him talking. Let's see… another horrible sin is to not kill."

"Not kill? So letting people live is a sin?"

"Yes. Jashinism teaches that anything other than complete destruction of another is a crime against God. Hmmm… so why don't I kill everyone in this damned place than? Well, I'll tell ya, because according to the scriptures I can't. Not like I did with the others. There are certain rituals that must be performed. Blood to be sacrificed."

Kakuzu lifted his eyebrows in a calm look of surprise.

"You know what I take it back you're worse than that shit Sasori. You're a pretentious petty shit I can tell. You think I'm crazy too? Are you diagnosing me a psycho because I killed all those people. I loved all those people. They raised me. They helped me grow and understand things I would have never come to understand on my own. Jashin asked me to kill them and they welcomed me to do so. What do you think Doctor Kakuzu? Do you think I'm fucking mental or that I deserve to die?"

"I think that you talk too much. Also your shirt is inside out. You could get in trouble for that. I'll see you when we have our first session tonight," Kakuzu got up to leave, "And one more thing. Don't take my books from the common room or I'll kill you myself."

He left just as people started to filter into the room from breakfast. Hidan was stunned that this man seemed almost unfazed by the fact that he killed close to 80 people. Usually people seemed, at least, a bit nervous when they first met him. Pretentious bastard. Fuck him. Hidan stuffed the book down his pants to bring back to his room.

"I wish he would kill me," Hidan thought.


	2. Isolation

The hours passed in slow motion for Hidan as he sat propped up against the wall in his room. His stolen book was thrown to the floor in surrender of trying to read to pass the time, so he instead settled for watching the light filter and move across the sheets of his bed.

"I gotta get the fuck out of this place," Hidan said to himself.

A large blueish skinned man with matching hair opened his door, "Hey kiddo time for lunch."

"Go fuck yourself. I'm not moving from this spot until I talk to my lawyer."

"Okay. I'm not sure if you were told this, but residents don't get access to phones."

"You call us residents like we want to fucking be here, but I feel like a prisoner!"

"Must be first day jitters," the blue man gave a smile and Hidan saw rows of sharpened teeth.

"Get away from me, freak."

"I'll give you three seconds to get up and start moving down to the mess hall. One… two... two and a half…," Hidan didn't budge, "...three. Alright here we go."

Hidan shouted profanities as he was promptly draped over the larger man's shoulder. "You piece of shark-toothed shit!"

"Yeah yeah… stop squirming."

When the two arrived at the cafeteria Tobi all but sprinted over.

"Kisame! And… Hidan! Almost didn't see you," he said excitedly.

"Hi, Tobi. How are you?" Kisame said.

"I'm good. They have leftover potatoes from yesterday for lunch today so you could say I'm having "laktas" fun!"

Kisame shook his head, "That's good to hear. Go get some food," he let Hidan down, "Same goes for you."

"Don't ever touch me again or I'll kill you."

"Mmhmm. Noted. Just don't make me come get you for dinner too. Okay, Hidan?"

Hidan steamed as Kisame walked out the white double doors, but he was hungry and hated to skip meals unless he was fasting for a religious cause. Hidan grabbed a food tray and pushed through the lunch line to the front. The entire line groaned in displeasure and booed him to which he angily flipped them all off. When he had his food from the disgusting looking lunch workers he sat down at a mostly empty table. Again Tobi scooted beside him, but this time he wasn't alone.

"Hey there. Good to see ya. I want to introduce you to some people. This right here is Suigetsu, Hugo, and you already know Karin."

"Did you really kill all those people for no reason?" The one called Suigetsu asked.

Hidan threw a look of disgust to the group and made to leave, but Tobi grabbed his arm.

"Oh come on! Stay with us please," he turned his attention forward, "Hey! Hey Itachi come sit with us! Over here!" The man with the low ponytail nodded towards the group and walked over.

"Hello. You must be Hidan," Itachi said as he took a seat.

'This was the guy who killed his family, Hidan thought, 'Maybe he could be the one to kill me.'

"Yeah. Everyone knows that. I'm not supposed to be here with you freaks. I'm supposed to be on death row."

"You know how long that takes? To be finally killed on death row? It could take years!" Karin said, "You have a better chance just pissing someone off and hoping they beat you to death."

"I would say the best one to get in a pissing match would be Itachi. He killed his whole family," Tobi said.

"It wasn't my fault…" Itachi said, "I needed to… they weren't going to let anyone live…"

He took a deep breathe to stop himself from shaking, "Let's change the subject."

"But I just love hearing this story, and remember it's not all bad. You're little brother is still alive," Tobi leaned onto his elbows.

"Change the subject. Now."

"Well Dr. Senju said I'm making progress with my BPD…" Hugo said.

"Hugo! Now that's really something! If that old bag Tsunade says it- it must be true!" Suigetsu said giving his friend a encouraging slap on the back, "Tell us all about it."

"I haven't cut in three days, and she said I could have another cat to take care of if I could go a whole month without cutting. As long as I promise it doesn't end up like the last one..."

"Awww… Hugo don't get hung up on yourself about it. The past is the past! Just move forward. Soon you'll get outta here and have all the little kitty cats you want! Suigetsu said, "And if you accidentally bash one of their heads in no one will punish you for it!"

"What the heck is BPD?" Hidan asked.

"Borderline personality disorder. Suigetsu was diagnosed with it too," Hugo replied.

"So you two have a made up disorder, he's a murderer, and I can already tell Tobi is just a fucking retard no one wanted to take care of so they stuck him here, but what the fuck is wrong with her?"

"She's a nymphomaniac," Suigetsu said, "And BPD is real. Don't talk about things you don't understand. Hey Karin you want to say something?"

"No. I don't talk to murderers," she said.

"You fucking ran out of the mess hall and jumped on him yesterday. Were you trying to make your fuck buddies jealous or something?" He turned back to Hidan, "She fucked half the residents and the guards too."

"Shut the hell up, Suigetsu. Are you angry because I won't fuck you too?"

"We did fuck you dumb bitch! Last week! In the janitorial closet! It wasn't even good!"

"You're a liar!" Karin stood up and shouted. A guard turned her head and gave a warning glance.

"Liar," Karin hissed and left the table.

"She used to see Dr. Taki, but she tried to make a move on him so she was transferred to Dr. Haruno, but I think she made a move on her too so now they're trying to figure out what to do next."

"She used to see Dr. Taki? I met the prick this morning. He told me I have a session with him tonight, but I don't plan on attending." Hidan said.

"Good luck getting out of that," Itachi said.

"Kakuzu is fucking insane. He'll find you and fucking drag you to isolation if you skip sessions," Suigetsu said, "Better just to go."

"Yeah. I figured he's got a stick up his ass."

"Hidan," Tobi leaned in close, "why don't you come with me tonight and we'll get out of this place?"

"Tobi what are you going on about?" Hugo asked, "Is it more about your "escape" plans. Last time you tried you were caught and put in iso for two weeks. When you came out you couldn't even speak."

"I almost made it, but someone ratted on me. Someone I shouldn't have trusted."

"Who?" Hidan asked.

"Over there. Do you see her? The girl with the long blond hair. Her name is Ino and she sucks up to the guards. Everyone says she's gonna be the one to get released from this place. If I didn't tell her I would have made it."

"Tell me," Hidan said, "how do you get out of this place without anyone noticing."

"There's a door in the kitchen that leads down into the basement. Once we get there we can take a tunnel that leads up to the ground level. Then we just jump the gate, head for the woods, and run."

'I'll be able to contact Konan,' Hidan thought. "I'm in," he said.

"Perfect because…" Tobi reached into his pants and gave a jingle, "I already have the keys."

"Dismissal! Lunch is over!" A guard announced.

"Dinner is at 6:30 so meet me in the in the hall and the end of the cafeteria at 6:00. The guards always let me in early, and the kitchen staff have a pre-shift meeting on Mondays for the weekly meal schedule."

"Hidan don't do this," Itachi said, "It's not worth it. Tobi doesn't know what he's doing."

"Well you're not going to rat us out are you?"

"No… I'm not," Itachi said.

"Then mind your own business," he turned to Tobi, "I'll see you at 6:00."

There was no clock anywhere near the resident's rooms so Hidan decided to wait in the common room. He wasn't that anxious about the plan. If Tobi got in the way he decided to just ditch him, and maybe even kill him if he had time for a good Jashin sacrifice.

About an hour ago after lunch ended Karin had pulled him to the side of the hallway to tell him she didn't sleep with Suigetsu.

"Like I give a shit about who you fuck," He told her.

"I overheard you have Dr. Kakuzu Taki as your psychologist."

"If you don't have anything important to share you can leave me the fuck alone, slut."

She grabbed his arm violently, "I am not a slut, asshole! I'm sick and I'm here to get help. I wanted to tell you that I think you and Dr. Taki are going to get along nicely because you're both pieces of shit."

"I'm not going to see him. Not tonight. Not ever. I'm getting out of here before I even have to meet with him."

Karin's demeanor changed instantly, "Why are you telling me this? Do you want me to come with you?" Her hand moved lower to grope Hidan's crotch.

He grabbed her wrist and forced it away, "If you ever touch me again I'll break your hands."

"If you leave tonight I guarantee you'll get caught, and then the guards will really get to know you."

"Well if they catch me I'll know who blabbed about it and I'll find you and fuck you up so bad you won't be able to recognize yourself."

Karin looked up at the hand holding her wrist, "Why don't you just slam me over a table and fuck me up right now instead?"

He shoved her away, "You're fucking disgusting and pathetic."

That was the end of the encounter after Karin tried to maul his eyes out before she was taken away by one of the guards. He didn't think she would tattle, and if she did he was candid in keeping his promise to disfigure her.

People came and went from the common room. They stopped to watch one of the 13 channels of television, talk to imaginary people in their heads, or to read an old book or magazine. Some even tried to engage him to which he violently snarled them away. By the time the small round clock between the two windows struck 5:30 the traffic in the room started to diminish. Hidan found out by listening to other residents that every night at 5:15 there was an activity in the main hall. Tonight was apparently bingo or some stupid game. There were only two other people in the room with him now. A boy with a spiked up ponytail and small hoop earrings, and the blond girl Tobi blamed for his failed escape attempt. Hidan could tell the boy wasn't a resident because of his lack of uniform and the fact that he wore sneakers."

"Why don't you come with us to bingo?" she asked.

"Why don't you fuck off?"

The boy stepped forward, "Don't speak to my friend like that. I told you not to engage him, Ino. He's a murderer after all. He's dangerous. He shouldn't even be here. He should've been shot in the head a year ago when the police raided that filthy shack in the woods."

"I just wanted to be nice," Ino said.

"Don't bother, you little rat. I heard you got Tobi in trouble or some shit for telling that he planned to escape. What the hell is wrong with you? He was just trying to get out of this shit hole."

"He's dangerous. He shouldn't be allowed outside of these grounds."

"He's a fucking person. Just like you and me. And his freedom was taken away because he was put here. Just like you and me."

"Ino let's get out of here. Your nurse told me they have some really cool prizes this week, and Choji said he was coming to visit you too."

Hidan watched as the two walked out of the room. Fucking snobs. Tobi was right; that girl is a bitch. She'd probably blab about him to someone tonight just because he said something about it. The clock read about 5:45 and he heard the event wouldn't be over until 6:15. Time to get moving. He made his way through the winding halls back to the cafeteria where, not soon after, Tobi arrived.

"Hidan there's a problem."

"Are you fucking kidding me? What is it?"

"There is one more person that needs to come with us. My friend Rin."

"Fine. As long as she doesn't slow me down. Where is she?"

"In her room. I'm going to go get her now. Here are the keys," Tobi dropped the keys into Hidan's hand, "Just leave the door open. It's the only other one in the kitchen. Once you get to the basement the tunnel is behind the old barn door. I'll distract the guard for you. Kisame should be easy enough to get rid of for a bit. Just go now."

Hidan hid behind the hallway until Tobi made a fit that made Kisame move a bit into the opposite hallway. Hidan quickly crept into the mess hall and, like Tobi said, no one was there. He jumped the food line barrier and made his way to the kitchen where he found an off-white stained door in the back. There were many keys on the ring that Tobi gave him but it didn't take long to find the correct one. The basement was damp, void of almost all light, and smelled like rotting meat. Hidan felt the walls for a something that could help until his finger was painfully splintered by a wood door. As quickly as he could he made his way through the dark tunnel until he saw a sliver of grey light on the ground. The doors to the grounds were heavy, but Hidan's muscular build was enough to force them open. The moon was the only light source on the grounds, and the cold December air made him shiver. His feet were already wet from the rain, but it didn't stop him from running to the gate.

"There he is! He's climbing the gate!" A shout sounded from somewhere on the grounds. Hidan saw flashlights accompanied by shadows running toward him and hurried up the gate.

Fucking shit! How did they know? Hidan thought someone must've told. Either the slutty redhead or the bitchy blonde. He was about jump over when he felt someone grab his ankle. The breath was knock out of him as he was slammed to the ground.

He looked up at his assailant, "You...," was the only word he could get out through his hyperventilations.

Kakuzu looked down at him, "What the hell do you think you're doing?" The darker skinned man grabbed Hidan's arm and slammed him up against the stone wall, "Like I told you earlier today. You're not going anywhere. This is your home now."

The guards arrived out of breath with Kisame leading them in front, "You caught up to him fast," Kisame rested his hands on his knees and looked at Hidan, "Holy shit, kid. You must really do want to die if you're trying to get back out there," he straightened himself up, "If it wasn't for your friend we wouldn't have even knew you were gone until dinner."

"That…redheaded...slut…Karin…I'm going to...kill her."

"She's not the one who told us," Kakuzu tightened his grip on Hidan's arms and moved closer until they were eye to eye, "it was the boy. Tobi. He sprinted into my office while I was with a patient and told us you stole the keys. We didn't believe him at first because the boy lies about everything. It wasn't until Kisame confirmed the basement door was unlocked that we came out on the grounds."

"Bas...tard…"

Kakuzu loosened his grip but his tone was still a low growl, "Because it's your first day I'll give you a choice. You can go to dinner like the rest of your "friends," take your medicine, then have Kisame take you to your first session with me and we can talk about everything that happened tonight, maybe even start to make a nice little treatment plan for you, or we can put you away in isolation until you agree to play by the rules."

Hidan replied by saying "Eat a dick," and spitting directly in Kakuzu's face. Kakuzu dropped him to the ground and kicked him in the gut hard. Kisame winced a bit, but, when he went to pick up Hidan, Kakuzu stopped him.

"I'll put him in iso myself. Give me your cuffs."

"Fuck… you…" Hidan muttered as Kakuzu roughly slammed the cuffs on. Hidan went in and out of cousinsness as he was forcefully dragged arcoss the grounds and back into the asylum.

As the two men made their way to the other side of the institute Hidan saw how different the west wing was from the east. It was older, and the architecture definitely screamed insane asylum unlike the east wing which was modern and hospital-like. The west wing's floor was concrete unlike the linoleum in his room, and the place smelled muggy. He could even hear a dripping noise echoing through the halls. Hidan regained some breathe, but the stitch in his side made it difficult to keep up with Kakuzu even with the other man dragging him along.

"Walk on your own. I'm not carrying you down the stairs."

Hidan wrenched himself out of Kakuzu's grip. He'd been wanting to walk on his own but the bastard wouldn't detach the fingernails digging into his arm until now.

"You beat me to a pulp and expect me to walk down stairs?"

"I expect you to follow the rules. Now go."

Hidan started to limp forward, but stopped, "And what if I don't?"

"I'll push you."

"I dare you."

"Don't test me."

"You're stalling."

In a sudden motion Kakuzu grabbed Hidan by the arms and hurled him down the stairs.

"You fucking bastard! Is that how you treat people! That really fucking hurt!"

"Shut up. Get up and keep moving. Were almost there."

Hidan snarled and got up. If the bastard wanted to play games he could play too. The hallway they walked down was lit with small electric lights, which gave off a yellow glow.

"Are you this hospitable to everyone, or I am just special?

No answer.

"Are you going to say something or should I just assume you're not as smart as everyone thinks you are? Or maybe you're just scared that I'll murder you like I murdered all those people."

Kakuzu ignored him, and opened a heavy steel door with a small rectangular opening at the top, "Get in."

When the two were both inside the windowless room Kakuzu pulled the only piece of furniture from the corner, a metal chair, and closed the both of them in the room.

"What the hell? I thought this was called isolation? You wanna have a fucking slumber party or something, scumbag?"

"We have a session tonight and, because of the circumstances, we'll have it right here."

"Sit all you want, dipshit. Although honestly I'd rather be alone."

"Oh don't worry. You will be after our session."

"What the fuck do you even do in this dump? Just watch the crazies get even more fucked up and then prescribe medicine to melt their brains?"

"I'm a psychologist. I analyze patient's histories, behaviors, and thoughts. Through that I create a plan to help them."

"I heard Karin tried to fuck you. You couldn't help her one bit, could you?"

"We're not here to discuss other patients. Why did you try to escape the institute?"

"What do you mean why did I try to escape? Are you fucking kidding me!? This place is a total hellhole! Just look at where we are! There are fucking tallies scrapped into the wall! It smells like death and shit! The people here are murderers, rapists, and schizos! How can you not want to leave?"

"How did you get the keys?"

"The fucker who ratted me out gave me the keys. The whole thing was his idea. He should be in this room. Not me."

"Why didn't he go with you?"

"Because he obviously went to go tell you! I was set up!"

"So why didn't you stop him? Kisame said he saw you two in the hallway, but he thought it was because you didn't want to be late for dinner. He said something about you not cooperating at lunch."

"Listen. He told me he was going to go get his friend, Rin, and I believed him. Whoever that chick is she should be in trouble too. They probably conspired against me for shits and giggles or something. I just want to talk to my fucking lawyer."

"I'll arrange phone privileges if it makes you feel more content here."

"Oh fuck you! Why are you even trying! You can't fucking help me! Unless you feel like killing me! But honestly though, as much as I want to die, I don't want a tight ass fuck like you to be the one to do it."

Kakuzu stood up and moved centimeters away from Hidan's face. His face was filled with rage and through the dim light the shadows on his scars looked liked they still had stitches holding them together, "Trust me. If I was allowed to kill you I would. You have no idea how badly I want to feel my hands around throat and watch as you gasp for breath."

"What the hell happened to you?" Hidan whispered.

Kakuzu turned away and reopened the door. When he closed it the lock mechanism echoed down the empty hallways, "And by the way. You're better off not listening to a word Tobi says. Rin died three years ago and he's never been the same." Kakuzu's footsteps faded and Hidan was finally alone.

Rin wasn't even here. She wasn't even fucking alive. Hidan scolded himself for being so naive to trust someone he just met, and who the fuck did Kakuzu think he was? Hidan was enraged to the point that he banged and screamed on the metal door even after the doctor made his leave. However there was something else he hated about the scarred man other than what he initially saw from him. Hidan hated how he got so close, which forced him to look into his eyes, and although his face was engulfed in anger, his eyes were sad. Hidan trusted his instincts and knew that there was more to people then they let on. More to the world even. Hidan moved to the corner of the room. There was no telling how long he would be sitting there, and he hated himself for admitting it, but he was scared. The only thing that could comfort him now were his prayers.


	3. A Change in Perspective

Hidan's prayers were soft and methodic at first, but as the first few hours passed in isolation they became incoherent. There was no way to tell if it was day or night anymore, or how long he sat trapped in the small room. Someone came with food, which they slid through the opening and spattered on the floor. The food was even worse than the stuff he was originally given and not sufficient for survival at all.

"Get me out! Get me out! Get me out!" Hidan was convinced he would die in this cell. How long had it been? More than a week? He didn't sleep much, and when he did it was never comforting. There was nothing to do except think or jack off. He didn't deserve this. This was all Kakuzu's fault. Hidan promised that the first thing he would do if he got out would be to murder the man and make his suffering last. He planned the entire slaughter out in his mind. Hidan would corner the man and break his legs so he couldn't escape, then he would make him beg for his life, and finally strangle him to death in the same way Kakuzu threatened him before he locked him up. Except, when he got to the end of his bloody fantasy, he saw the same tragic look in Kakuzu's eyes, and why the fuck did it make him feel so bad!

With that thinking time was over and it was now time for the only other activity available to him at the moment. Hidan threw his pants to the side and grabbed his cock. It didn't take long for him to get hard, but his hand chafed his dick so he spit into his palm for lubricant. He started with slow strokes and stopped to tease the head a few times. His thoughts were nonexistent at first, but when he finally closed his eyes the only person he could picture was Kakuzu, and it didn't stop him from masturbating. Hidan saw himself pressing Kakuzu up against a wall and fucking him. He imagined Kakuzu moaning his name. His stokes got faster as he saw the fantasy through; Hidan bit into Kakuzu's neck and gripped the other man's dick while thrusting into him. He imagined Kakuzu craning his neck around, and their lips locking together in a bloody kiss. He pictured Kakuzu's body up close; he was soaked with sweat, his long brown hair hung loose around his face, and, god, his ass was so fucking tight that it hurt. His entire body was toned and muscular, and his face was flush and so damn sexy even with his scars. Hidan parted their kiss and stared into Kakuzu's eyes.

"Fucking shit!" He came into his hand and wiped it on the wall. One moment he was thinking about murdering Kakuzu and the next he was thinking about cumming in his ass. Hidan didn't care. He sat there in a vegetative state unknowing of the time that was passing. He didn't even hear the door open and the guards tell him to get up.

"He smells worse than shit. Let's hose him off before we bring him back up." Two guards picked him up by his arms and pulled him to his feet. Hidan didn't want to walk. The man and woman holding him dragged him in through the hallway and dropped him in front of a damp wall. They tore off Hidan's clothes and he heard the twist of a rusted spigot. He tried to cover himself from the water, but his energy was deleted so he huddled his limbs together and prayed for it to be over. He prayed for death. He prayed that this wasn't real. The water stopped and he was picked back up. He shivered against the cold air as the guards tried to towel him off.

"Here are some new clothes. Put them on."

Hidan tried not to shake so much while he put the shapeless grey smock and pants on. The guards went to grab him again but he snapped at them.

"I can walk for myself." Hidan tried to walk up the stairs but he got light headed and felt sick, so the guards had no choice but to help him up the stairs. Even the soft lights of the west wing were too much for his eyes. The east wing was even worse. He was blinded by the white walls and brights lights until finally he was brought into an office and given a chair. The woman who sat in front of him gasped at his appearance, and, honestly, Hidan was a little put off by her's as well. She had the biggest breasts he'd even seen. Her blond hair was pulled into two loose pigtails, and the plack in front of him said Dr. Tsunade Senju.

"Just how long did he keep him down there for?" She asked one of the guards.

Hidan's usually slicked back hair hung, still damp, in his face, he lost weight so his cheek bones jutted out, and dark circles had formed under his eyes from being in isolation.

"About a month."

Hidan started to laugh, "Really? Only a month? It felt like a year."

"We need to get him back on meds STAT," Tsunade put a hand to Hidan's forehead, "and also fluids. He's burning."

"Where is he?" Hidan's voice was almost incoherent even to himself.

"What? Who? Where is who? Who are you talking about?"

"The shit who locked me up for a month."

"Hidan. Look at me. You have to tell us who put you down there. The punishment was too harsh and I was only informed this morning that a resident was put in iso for more than a week."

"Kakuzu," Hidan growled.

Tsunade hurried to her phone, "Hello? Yes. Hi, Shizune. It's me. Everything is fine just put me on to 14 west. I have to speak with Dr. Taki."

That was all he needed; a number and a direction. He shot up from the chair and ran out of the office. He knew where the west wing offices were because he was dragged passed them twice. He sprinted through the hallways until he finally found the door and all but jumped into the room.

"Where the fuck are you, scumbag! Where are you, Kakuzu! You piece of shit!"

Kakuzu sat at his desk with a young girl. The two were in the middle of eating lunch when Hidan barged in.

"Fu get behind me now."

"Uncle Kuzu what's going on?" Fu asked nervously.

"What's going on is that I'm going to rip "Uncle Kuzu's" fucking face off for making me live in my own piss and shit for a month!" Hidan lunged at Kakuzu and struck him with a satisfying crack.

" Hidan...listen to me. It was for your own good-" Hidan lurched at Kakuzu for another punch, but he caught his wrist before the silver haired man could land it.

"For my own good? How was leaving me to die in a hole for my own fucking good, huh? You bastards think you can help these people, but you just make them worse. And it doesn't even fucking matter to you one bit. I bet it's all your fault I'm here in the first place. You know Sasori, and everybody knows me and what I did. You wanted to me rot down there from the beginning didn't you?"

Tsunade stormed the office and jabbed a syringe into Hidan's side. He screamed in aggravation.

"Haven't I gone through enough already! This isn't fucking right! He fucking left me… left me… he left me to die…" Hidan collapsed onto the floor with a thud.

"Kakuzu you put him in iso for four weeks without my approval, which, by the looks of it, could have killed him, and even worse on his first day at the institute. You better have a good goddamn reason why or you can leave right now."

"Fu, go to the green house and I'll meet you there."

"I don't want to go there without you!"

"Fu go now," Kakuzu said and the young girl ran out of the office. "He needed to be broken down. There was no way I was going to make any progress with him if-"

"So you locked him in iso for a month? What the Hell is wrong with you? Residents deteriorate after one day in isolation! He could have died!"

"Hidan is different. I admit that I made a mistake in not telling you, but you're underestimating how dangerous he is. He needed something to drain him and make him more pliant. He's not going to be breaking anymore rules."

Tsunade considered this statement as well as everything she knew about Hidan from Sasori's psychology reports. "All of his medical expenses are coming out of your pay, and if I don't see some sort of miraculous miracle change in his behavior you're gone. Hidan is your top priority, and you can personally deal with the press about him."

"Fine."

Hidan woke up in the medical wing of the institute with an I.V stuck in his arm. He was finally truly feeling how sick he was. This was worse than prison. If you fought in prison they gave you a slap on the wrist, and if you tried to escape they just took away your outside privileges. The curtain around his bed was drawn open and Kisame stood with a cell phone in hand.

"Hidan I have something for you. Are you able to speak?"

"Fuck you."

"Good. Here you can have the phone for an hour. Call whoever you want just dial 122 before the number." He handed the phone to Hidan and closed the curtain. Konan was the only person he could somewhat trust. The two grew up together and were friends as children, but grew apart when she started dating a boy named Yahiko when they turned 18. They were never as close since.

"Hello?"

"Konan. It's Hidan."

"Hidan! Oh my god! Where are you? I came to the institute to see you! I was there everyday for a week and called and called but they wouldn't let me talk to you!"

"That's because they locked my ass up in isolation for a month. I'm a fucking wreck. You have to get me out of this shithole."

"Why would they do something like that? "

"I… I tried to escape."

"You what! Hidan why?"

"Because you're a bitch for letting this happen to me! Because I can't trust anyone! Because I would rather be shot in the head than have to stay another minute in this place!"

"Hidan. I'm sorry," Hidan could hear Konan start to cry, "It- it wasn't my decision. The jury saw your medical records and reports from Sasori."

"What? Are you telling me this is his fault?"

"No Hidan! It's no ones fault! You're sick! Hidan there is something seriously wrong with you!" The words echoed in Hidan's head. That was it. This wasn't a secret last resort plan to get him off death row. He was here because he belonged here.

"Hidan? Are you still there?"

"Yeah."

"I'm so sorry, Hidan."

"So it's my fault that I'm here."

"No! It's not your-"

"Yeah. It is. If I'm sick that means there's something wrong with me. Not the rest of the world."

"Hidan… it's okay."

"Konan."

"What is it?"

"Did you know?"

"Did I know what?"

"You know what I'm talking about."

"I- I don't know. I- don't know how to answer that."

"Was I like this when we were kids?"

"Hidan please… I- I don't- please, Hidan. We'll think of something. Okay?"

"Konan?"

"Yes Hidan?"

"Don't to call or visit anymore." Hidan hung up and dropped the phone off the side of the bed. God he was so weak. Every part of his body hurt, and now he felt like crying. Hidan hadn't cried in years. Not since he was visited by Jashin himself in a vision, but… was that even real? Was anything he'd ever thought of real? Or was it just something he created in his own mind? His breath hitched as tears started to stream down his face.

Hidan was in the hospital wing for a week before they let him go back to his room. The head doctor, Sakura Haruno, oversaw that Hidan made a speedy recovery. He also had one visitor, Itachi Uchiha, who came on a rainy afternoon.

"Hey. Jugo made cupcakes, and I brought you one."

"Get out."

"I'll leave it right here. How are you feeling?"

"Like shit. Now leave," Hidan said.

"Look. I wouldn't have come here unless it was important," his voice turned to a whisper, "I heard Dr. Taki transferred all of his patients to other psychologists. You're his only patient now. What the hell happened between you two?"

"He was gonna lose his precious job."

"They say you're going to be closely watched by him for now on."

Hidan took a bite out of the cupcake. "Whoop-de-fucking-doo."

"I thought you'd take this more seriously."

"I'm fucked up in the head you know that?"

"Hidan I think you're wrong."

"Than tell me why the fuck I'm here, Itachi. Why am I locked in a loony bin if I don't fucking belong here too?"

"Hidan. I was one of Dr. Taki's patients and at my last session he wasn't himself. He couldn't focus."

"Itachi please just get the fuck out. Thanks for the cake."

When Hidan got back to his room the next morning he slept for hours. It was late afternoon when he was woken up by a loud knock on the door.

"Oi! What now?"

It was Kisame. "Hidan, you need to get up. You have a meeting with Dr. Taki."

"Do I get to eat first?"

"You'll be eating in his office."

"Fine. Can I use a real fucking bathroom for once?"

Before Kisame took him to the showers he gave Hidan a bath kit. Although the water was freezing, and the pressure was low, he reveled in the ability to use shampoo again. When he looked in the mirror he didn't even recognize himself. His facial hair had grown in and he was amazed the bath kit actually contained a crappy razor to shave with.

When he was done the two headed to the west wing until they got to room 14. Kisame knocked. "Dr. Taki, Hidan is here."

"Send him in," Kakuzu's office was warm and spacious. Books lined the shelves on the walls and a large window overlooked the woods at the end of the room. On the opposite side there were two brown couches sitting on a circular red rug.

"Hidan why don't you make yourself comfortable?" Kakuzu said. There was a plate of food on the desk where Kakuzu was sitting. Hidan grabbed it and went to the couch. The two sat in silence; Hidan ate and stared out the window while Kakuzu watched him.

"Are you just gonna watch me eat? Or does something get accomplished in this room?"

"What would you like to get accomplished today?"

"Oh cut the crap. You left me to die. Don't act like you care"

"I wasn't going to leave you, Hidan."

"Oh yeah? How much longer did you plan on letting me marinate in my own shit than?"

"I don't expect you to understand why, but you needed to be alone for a while."

"Go to Hell." Hidan no longer had the energy to fight back. Kakuzu was right; being locked up for so long broke him. Time passed in silence and Hidan watched the sun go down behind the mountains.

"Why don't we play a sort of game, Hidan?"

"Ha. You're a funny guy, you know that, Kakuzu?" Hidan wouldn't give him the satisfaction of being called doctor.

"I'm serious. I'll ask you a question, and if you answer it you can ask me a question."

"And you have to answer it? You can't say no?"

"That's how it works."

"Fine. Ask me a question."

"Why do you think you're here at the institute and not somewhere else?"

"Where the hell do I start? I murdered a bunch of people, but apparently not enough to be killed myself. Plus the fact that I'm apparently sick in the mind. So now I'm locked away from society so I can't hurt anyone ever again. Happy?"

Kakuzu nodded in response. "Your turn."

"What the fuck happened to your face."

Kakuzu predicted that's what Hidan would ask. "When I was younger I was given an important job and failed. This was my punishment."

"Well what was the job?"

"Hidan it's my turn."

Hidan groaned, "Fine. Hit me."

"Do you think you should be here?"

"No! Well I mean- no. I don't know. Maybe? Fucking Christ. I don't want to be here, but they told me I was fucked up and maybe I am and everybody I trusted turned on me so…" Hidan turned his attention back to the window. He couldn't stand to look at Kakuzu directly anymore. "There is something wrong with me that that everyone can see except me," he made eye contact again. "Now tell me. What was the job?"

"I needed to kill someone but… I couldn't do it."

"Chickened out did you?"

"No… I was young and didn't know what I was in for," Kakuzu focused back to the folders which littered his desk, "Hidan we're done for today. You may leave."

"Wait. I have one more question. Who was that girl with you? She called you her uncle, but she was wearing a resident's uniform."

Kakuzu sighed as if this was common knowledge. "Yes, my niece is a resident here. I'm not allowed to treat her, but I try to spend as much time with her as possible."

"What's wrong with her?"

"That's confidential information, Hidan. You can leave now. I assume you won't wander the halls, or should I call Kisame?"

Hidan walked over to Kakuzu's desk and leaned in. "I heard you got rid of all your patients except me. Why the hell would you do that?"

"I don't expect you to understand."

"Try me." The air between the two men intensified. Not one could predict what the other was thinking.

"You need to leave now. I have reports to write up. Our next session is tomorrow afternoon. Then we'll try some new therapy strategies later that night."

Hidan slammed the office door closed before he left. When he got back to his room Kisame was waiting to lock his door shut. "Kakuzu told me you would be late."

"Sorry to be a fucking bother." When the door closed he couldn't help but feel extremely fatigued. When he laid down his thoughts were scattered except for the fact that they all connected back to one man, Kakuzu.

'So he tried to kill someone… Hidan thought, 'and couldn't do it so they took his face.' Hidan admitted that kind of sucked, and Kakuzu also had to deal with his niece being stuck in a place like this. No wonder he's such an uptight asshole. If Konan was put in here Hidan would be doing whatever it took to get her out.

That night Hidan dreamed he tried to escape again, and when he jump onto the gate Kakuzu yanked him down. Except when the older man shoved him against the stone wall he slammed their lips together. Hidan woke up in a cold sweat, and with a tent in his pants. "Ah fuck." This time he didn't touch himself. Instead he just willed it to go away. It was one thing to fantasize about people you hated while locked in a hole, but another when you were out of it.

The day ticked by slowly. The other residents stayed away from him and Tobi was nowhere to be seen. Hidan planned to confront the bastard and at least scare him so bad he pissed his bed for a week the next time he saw him. The morning came and went, and at lunch he was taken to Kakuzu's office. This session consisted of Kakuzu asking him about Jashinism, the murders, and how he felt about it all. It took about an hour for Hidan to bullshit his way through it. When evening came Kakuzu gave him some rorschach tests and that was it. The next few months were the same; Eat breakfast, go back to his room with a stolen book or magazine, see Kakuzu, go back to his room to get in a workout and shower, and then Kakuzu again. No hear from Konan, or anybody, for two months. Although he felt he got nothing from the therapy Hidan actually started to look forward to their chats which, were really about whatever the fuck he felt like talking about. He liked to ask Kakuzu questions too though. It made it feel "fair."

During one of their afternoon sessions Hidan absentmindedly asked him, "Do you have a wife or something?"

"No, but I was engaged once."

"What did you knock her up?"

Kakuzu hesitated which made Hidan laugh ferociously. "You did! Kakuzu, you dog you! Do you have a kid?"

"Hidan talking about my personal life is not going to help you with your situation."

"Come on! Let me be the doctor this time." Hidan grabbed Kakuzu's reading glasses and a spare clipboard. In a mock serious tone he asked, "Kakuzu is the child yours?"

"Hidan stop now."

"Just tell me! Tell me if you have a kid and I'll shut up! Just tell me!" Hidan begged.

"Yes. A daughter. Now stop."

Hidan went on, "Is the gremlin as pretty as you or as ugly as its mother?"

"Hidan... stop it." Kakuzu was growling.

"And was the glasgow passed down too? How about we talk about how your child undoubtedly inherited a small dick and a stick up its ass?"

Kakuzu grabbed the clipboard and wacked Hidan across the face. The glasses broke off and cut Hidan right below his eye.

"Ow! What the fuck, Kakuzu! I thought we were passed this crap!"

"She's dead."

Hidan suddenly realized the grave mistake he made. "Holy shit. Kakuzu I was just being a dick I'm sorry. I didn't know-"

"She died when she was five years old."

"Oh my god I got a rouse out of you and I kept going. I... holy shit. I'm sorry. I didn't... how could I have known that-"

"Shut up and get out. Now." Kakuzu was breathing heavily, but as full as rage as the man seemed to be Hidan saw something else as well.

Hidan was terrified of what the man might do to him if he stayed longer, but at the same time sickly entranced by the way Kakuzu's eyes conveyed complete sorrow. Kakuzu looked so furious yet so vulnerable Hidan wondered if it was just his disfigured mind mixing things up again. Comforting people was always something Hidan failed at, but he couldn't stop himself from taking Kakuzu's face in his hands and bringing their lips together.


	4. New Therapy Strategies

Kakuzu immediately pushed Hidan away.

"I don't know why I did that. You looked so sad. What am I supposed to do after you say something as horrible as that? It's just...the way you look right now... I can't stand it and I just have these feelings. I don't fucking know, okay?" Hidan said.

Kakuzu walked towards Hidan and cupped his face in his palm. Hidan leaned into it. It was warm and he could feel roughness from calluses. Hidan inhaled deeply and smelled the man's masculine scent. Kakuzu brought their lips together once more, and Hidan grabbed Kakuzu's shoulder to pull him closer. His other hand slipped beneath Kakuzu's shirt and he gasped when the older man lifted him and threw him onto the couch. Their kisses grew more fervent and soon their tongues clashed together. Hidan's hand stroked toned abdominal muscles, and was slowly traveling down below the man's waistline. When he groped Kakuzu's cock through cotton slacks the man moaned.

"I take back what I said about a small dick."

"Shut up…" Kakuzu grabbed Hidan's wrists and pinned them above his head as he grinded his growing erection against Hidan's. He felt Kakuzu kiss along his jawline and start to move down his neck. Hidan broke his hands free from the other man's grip and entangled them into long brown hair. Kakuzu lifted Hidan's shirt over his head and started moving down the man's toned chest and stomach.

"Kakuzu that feels so fucking good... don't stop," Hidan panted.

The darker man started to pull on Hidan's pants as he descended the silver happy trail leading down the younger man's boxer shorts. He sat up between Hidan's thighs to remove his own shirt and Hidan almost choked on his breath when he discovered the scars weren't solely on his face, but traced up and down his entire chest and arms as well.

"Ah shit... What the hell happened to you?" Violet eyes looked deeply into dark green ones and for a moment the men were motionless. The two stared lustfully at each other breathing heavily with desire. Kakuzu dropped a hand behind Hidan and pulled the man into a sitting position on his lap. Hidan wound his arms around Kakuzu's neck and the two captured each other in a passionate kiss. Kakuzu bit down on Hidan's lower lip causing him to moan in pleasure. Not wanting to break contact for long, Kakuzu helped to quickly finish taking off Hidan's pants and blindly undid his own. Hidan assisted in undressing the other man by lifting his body up so Kakuzu could slide his pants down easier. Hidan resumed his position and grinded their cocks together. The two men moaned and Kakuzu gripped Hidan's ass to pull the them even closer. Hidan split into his hand and slicked them both up. He started stroking them together and Kakuzu gave a low growl.

"Hidan…"

Hidan couldn't think after he heard Kakuzu moan his name. He clashed their lips together and moved his hand faster up and down their cocks. Kakuzu brought his hand down to cup Hidan's balls and started to massage them.

"Let me stroke you," Kakuzu said. Hidan complied by releasing both their cocks from his grip, and wrapped his hand back around just Kakuzu's. Kakuzu spit in his palm, gripped around Hidan's member, and started to jerk him with slow strokes.

"Oh god… go faster… please…" Hidan moaned. Kakuzu grabbed the man's ass again and Hidan watched the heads of their cocks press against each other.

"Hidan, I'm so close," Kakuzu said.

"Me too."

The two brought their lips back together as their paces became faster and more erratic. The two were breathing heavily and sweat glistened from both their brows.

"I'm gonna cum- Fuck!" Hidan came hard onto Kakuzu's stomach. Kakuzu wrapped his now free hand around Hidan's waist and used the extra pull to thrust into the man's palm.

"You're so fucking hot, Kakuzu."

Kakuzu shivered as he came in Hidan's hand and moaned into the crook of his neck. The two stayed there, in one another's embrace, covered in each other's cum, Hidan sitting on Kakuzu's lap, and Kakuzu's face buried in the curve of Hidan's neck, until they regained their normal breathing patterns.

"What the fuck did we just do?" Hidan said.

"You can't tell anyone about this," Kakuzu returned.

"No shit."

"Hidan, I'm serious. I could lose my job."

Hidan pushed himself off of Kakuzu's lap with a snort. "Oh please! What's so great about this job? I'm your only patient anyway! You could get a job anywhere! You're a fucking genius doctor for god's sake. What the fuck are you so afraid of?"

"Hidan I need this job. I need the money. I have-"

"Oh fuck off!" Hidan starting putting his clothes back on. "You're safe, asshole! I'm not going to tell a single soul. The thought never even passed my mind. Why the Hell would I tell anyone anyway? So they can take you away from me and then I'll be-" Hidan silenced himself before finishing.

"You'll be what, Hidan?"

"I'll be fucking alone! Okay? Do you know how fucking depressing it is to almost be sure that I'm going to die alone in this shithole? How am I supposed to be happy if all I get from this life is fucking mistakes, lies, and now being locked up when I don't even understand what's wrong with me? You're the only one I can talk to in this place! No one else will even tell me what the hell is going on because they think I'm fucking stupid! At least you don't fucking sugar coat everything! But at the same time I can't stand your self-righteous ass! You come along and beat the shit out of me then lock me up for a month, and I can't stop thinking about it! Is that how you fucking treat people or am I even considered a person in this place? My dreams are all fucked up so I don't sleep at night, Konan hasn't even tried to call me, I just fucking jerked you off on the sofa, and I want to go home, but everyone is dead because I killed them- and- and-" Hidan started hyperventilating.

Kakuzu got up and quickly put his pants back on, "Hidan calm down. It's okay."

"No it's not okay! Everybody is fucking dead!"

Kakuzu cautiously stepped forward. "Hidan you need to calm down. You're having a panic attack."

"They told me to kill them! They wanted me to! I didn't want to at first, but they told me to and I did, okay? I loved them... they were the closest thing I've ever had to a family!" Hidan didn't even realize that Kakuzu had wrapped his arms around his body and held him to his chest. He could feel hot tears running down his face.

"They told me we were all gonna be in paradise together."

Kakuzu shushed him. "It's okay. I'm right here. You're safe."

"No I'm not," Hidan sobbed.

"Yes you are."

Hidan gave up. There was no sense in fighting it anymore. He latched himself onto Kakuzu and cried. He cried loud ugly sobs. His nose ran, his eyes burned, but the misery that built up inside him over the past year and eight months was too much to contain any longer. Hidan didn't exactly know how long his breakdown lasted but it was well into the night when he finally calmed down. Kakuzu, during the episode, whispered comforting nothings to him, rubbed his back, or combed his fingers through his hair."

Hidan tried to start controlling his breathing again and did all he could to relax his face. He could hear the faint sound of Kakuzu's heartbeat through his chest.

"God, I'm so fucking scared." Hidan lifted his head and looked at Kakuz. "I haven't cried since I was a kid and now I can't stop."

Kakuzu smiled a bit at this. "This is good than."

Hidan knew he must've looked a mess, but he kissed Kakuzu on the lips anyway. It was so comforting especially when he felt Kakuzu kiss back.

Hidan's head was pounding and Kakuzu left the office to grab them both glasses of water. When he returned Hidan was standing with his head pressed up against the large window across the room. The cool glass soothed his headache as he looked out across the dark grounds.

"This is one hell of a situation, Kakuzu. I don't think sexual interactions with patients are allowed."

Kakuzu took a deep breath. "What happened, happened. But I still plan to keep treating you. You seem to be making progress."

"Oh yeah? Then tell me just what your goal for me is?" Hidan closed the distance between them, "And what if whatever happened, happens again?"

Kakuzu was speechless. He'd never been in such a situation where a patient could potentially destroy everything he worked for.

"What's my goal, Doc-tor Ta-ki? Give it to me straight. Tell me where my progress is going to get me because, frankly, I can't trust anyone, and if you say I'm going to get out of this place we'll both know that's bullshit. I don't need another lair in my fucked up life," Hidan spit.

"Hidan, humans have an amazing ability for self-understanding, and through that we can understand others. But the process necessary to understand one's self is so difficult that most people give up, even with simple problems, and try to push away aspects of themselves. Hidan, I want you to understand why you did the things you did for yourself, and through that I want you to find peace," Kakuzu said.

"I've never been at peace."

"Neither have I."

Hidan snorted, "Well that's reassuring."

"But I feel like you have a chance at it."

"And what makes you think that?"

"Because you're an intense individual, Hidan. People underestimate you so you prove them wrong. You prove me wrong everyday. You do things passionately even behind closed doors. You don't quit."

"I know why I kissed you, and it wasn't because I felt bad for you."

"Why, Hidan?"

"It's because I've never had someone understand me before, and you're right. I don't even understand myself. Now you tell me."

"Tell you what?"

"Why you kissed back."

"Hidan. It's late. You need to get back to your room."

"Fuck off. How am I supposed to trust you with the deepest secrets of my fucking soul if you won't even explain to me why we just went to third base on your couch?"

"I did it because of the way you look at me."

"The way I what?" Hidan asked in confusion.

"You don't just see me for... all of this…" Kakuzu gestured to his face and scars. "You looked passed it like there's something beneath it all."

"Well, geez, isn't there?"

Kakuzu gazed out the window. "People don't think so."

"Do you think so?" Hidan questioned.

"Are you trying to be a psychiatrist?"

"Are you trying to be funny?" Hidan saw the twitch of a grin on Kakuzu's lips.

Kakuzu escorted Hidan back to his room where Kisame was sleeping in the guards office at the end of the hallway undoubtedly left waiting for Hidan's return.

"Hey, fish face, wake up! I'm back."

Kisame stretched and yawned. "It's about time." When Kisame noticed Kakuzu he asked if they had any trouble, but Kakuzu waved him off by blaming Hidan's lateness to an intense therapy session.

It wasn't a lie.

"Making some big breakthroughs are you, Hidan?"

"Get the keys so you can lock my room. I just wanna fucking sleep."

"Goodnight, Hidan," Kakuzu said and made his leave.

Hidan starred as the man walked down the hallway and turned out of sight. Kisame didn't think anything of it or Hidan's puffy eyed appearance, and proceeded through protocol as usual. Hidan actually slept through the night until he was woken by the unclick of his door. It was a dull dreamless sleep, cut short by the fact that he went to bed late, but sleep nonetheless. Kakuzu was right; he was making progress.


	5. Sorrow and Secrets

The morning passed uneventfully and at noon Hidan took his lunch up to the west wing to meet Kakuzu for their daily session. He knocked on the door, expecting it to be locked, but instead it inched open on its own.

"Hello?" Hidan listened to the old wooden clock tick in response as he entered the office. He growled as he plopped onto the loveseat with his lunch and waited for the doctor to enter for their session. Kakuzu was never late. In fact he was always at his desk doing some sort of paperwork even if Hidan wandered in early.

' _Fuck this shit,'_ Hidan thought, ' _Where the fuck is he? If I was this late he'd fucking eat me alive."_

Hidan poked at his food for a few minutes, but then decided to sit impatiently with his arms crossed and watch the clock. Thoughts raced through his mind, ' _Did he finally give up on me? Or is he scared shit-less for his job because of last night? That fucking coward… he's the doctor he should've stopped it… it wasn't my fault he kissed back…_ _Why did I fucking do that… I'm a fucking idiot that's why…'_

"Hello, Hidan," Kakuzu said rushing in and interrupting the other man's thoughts.

"Well it's about fucking time. Where the hell were you?"

Kakuzu avoided the question, "Our session is cancelled. You can leave."

"I can -what? Leave! No fucking way!"

Kakuzu pinched the bridge of his nose. "Leave, and don't come back until tomorrow night."

"Tomorrow? I can't wait until tomorrow!"

"Yes you can. Now leave."

"I need to talk now! What about last night!"

"What happened last night was nothing," Kakuzu spat.

"You fucking piece of shit!" Hidan raised his voice, "What was it than? Some fucking scheme for you to get off? Are you trying to mess me up even more so I have absolutely no chance of getting out of this fuck hole?"

Kakuzu slammed his hand over Hidan's mouth and whispered, "It was a mistake. If you so much as tell a soul what happened last night I swear I will make sure you suffer for the rest of your goddamn life." Kakuzu felt a sharp pain as Hidan bit the man's hand to free himself.

"Like you could make me suffer more than I already am," He sneered and slammed the door shut as he left.

Hidan had no choice but to go back to the cafeteria until lunch was finished and then retreat to his room where he pushed himself against the wall. The crack his head made as it slammed against the yellow concrete felt numbing and he slid down onto the floor.

Hidan started to pray, "Lord Jashin… Please hear me. I cannot go on like this. I know I can't kill myself, but I must confess I have thoughts of doing so. Please forgive me…" He continued to pray until dinner was called, and braced himself for whatever annoying people he would have to put up with for an hour. As he left his room and started walking down the hall he noticed Ino and Shikamaru staring at him as they read a newspaper. He squinted his eyes and stared right back as he continued down the hall.

"Hidan!" Hidan was turning into the cafeteria doors when he heard his name. "Hidan, my man!" Deidara strood towards him escorted by a guard. "I told you I would visit, hm," the blond man said.

Hidan was actually a bit speechless when the other man approached him, "I didn't think you'd ever come to see me."

"Whoa, dude. You look like complete shit."

"Well you are where you live."

The two shared a brief laugh over that small joke, and when it was over Deidara scratched the back of his head to fill the awkward silence.

"So what are you up too, hm?"

"We're forced to eat and then... I usually have a therapy session, but not tonight," Hidan sneered as he thought of his bitter encounter with Kakuzu this afternoon and how different it was from the night before.

"Well eat up and then you can show me around, hm?"

"Ha! It's a bunch of white walls and that's about it."

"Alright then… we'll go for an aimless walk instead, hm?"

"Sounds good to me. I need all I can get to sweep my fucking mind from this place."

Lunch passed and the two started their stroll around hallways with a guard following a good 10 paces behind.

"So how's the real world?" Hidan asked.

"Crazy! Sasori has been interviewed countless times about you, and I've even been asked questions, hm! I can't believe the protests happening to get you out of this place. It's insane, hm."

Hidan stopped walking and gapped, "What?" he said, "What the hell are you fucking talking about?"

"Hidan… do you not know?"

"I don't know anything that goes on out there! I live in a place worse than fucking prison!" Hidan yelled. The guard peeked his head out from behind the wall and Deidara waved him away. "What do you mean people are trying to get me out?"

"Holy shit, dude. This has been going on since the day they put you in this place. The news has been covering entire protests to change your verdict and get you back on death row, hm. Sasori's been dodging the news crews for months now and I see Konan dening comments for news crews on the reg, hm."

"What the fuck… why? I'm gone. Why are they still fucking going on about all of this?"

Deidara lowered his voice to a whisper, "Because apparently they really really want to see you dead, and, from what Sasori's told me, they want to see everyone who got you here to go down with you, hm. People are accusing Konan of lying to the court and are fighting to get you another trail. They've even tried to break into this place and kidnap you, hm."

Hidan stared in disbelief. "How is Konan? Is she alright?"

"Yeah… yeah she's fine. I see her alot with her man following behind on television. She's usually running from news teams, but, from what I've seen, she's a tough woman so I wouldn't worry too much, hm."

"What else is going on out there?" Hidan prompted.

"Other than that? Nothing. Same-old same-old." Deidara said trying to change the subject. "Has anything interesting happened in here? Any good fights or maybe hook ups, hm?" Deidara smiled and nudged Hidan on the elbow in a failed attempt to break the awkwardness between them.

"No," Hidan deadpanned. 'I should just tell him,' Hidan thought, 'tell him and let this jabbermouth tell it to the entire world.'

He stopped thinking and pulled Deidara into the first open room, the greenhouse, while the guard chatted up some of his coworkers.

"Wow. Nice place, hm," Deidara stated. "Do you come here a lot? It's a little unkempt but it's better than the rest of this hell hole, hm."

"No I don't fucking come here. Deidara I have to tell you something that's happened. My doctor is a complete fucking psychopath."

Deidara was still admiring the plants that sat on shelves and hung from the high glass ceiling. All of the plants were dead for the winter, but it was still quite an impressive greenhouse. "Than you two should get along nicely."

"You don't fucking understand. When I first fucking got here I tried to escape and the guy beat me, and put me in a cell for weeks."

"Oh fuck, Hidan. I'm not going to lie, hm, you look like you've seen some shit." It was true. Hidan no longer dawned the same handsome look from the courtroom all those months ago. He now had dark purple bags under his eyes, untidy hair, and desperation in his voice.

"Last night I had a session with Kakuzu and-"

"Hidan I don't care about your therapy sessions, hm? How about while I'm here we just talk about other stuff, yeah?"

Hidan grew visibly angry at Deidara's comment. "What other stuff? There is no other stuff! I eat and shit where I fucking sleep and fend off crazies from clawing my fucking face off! Is that what you want to hear about?"

Deidara looked around for the door, "Hidan let's get out of here, hm."

Hidan grabbed Deidara's wrist. "Why are you having a guard follow us, Deidara? Are you fucking scared? Scared that I might kill you too?"

Deidara was starting to sweat and was about to call for the guard when Hidan slammed the man against a pot and it shattered around them.

"Holy shit, hm…" Deidara said as he tried to orientate himself.

Hidan grabbed the man by the collar, "Because I will fucking do it. I'll fucking murder you right here. I have nothing to fucking lose." Hidan felt a small sting in his side as he swayed around just in time to see a syringe jabbed into his left hip and Kakuzu holding onto his arm.

"You should leave," Kakuzu said to Deidara.

Deidara skirted from the floor and out of the greenhouse not saying another word. Hidan was slowly slipping into unconsciousness, but addressed the doctor with the last of his strength. "You're a fucking sicko like the rest of us. You know that, right?"

Kakuzu glared at Hidan as he watched the man faint from the drug tranquilizer. Fu appeared from behind a large red pot.

"Uncle Kuzu… are you alright?" Fu looked at Hidan and then back to Kakuzu. "That's the man that hit you a long time ago. Does he not like you?"

"He's my patient and sometimes he has outbursts just like the others that live here. He's no different from the rest of the residents, Fu."

"Is he no different than me?" Fu asked.

Kakuzu's brows lifted, " Fu look at me. Never compare yourself to the people in this place."

"But I live here too, and not everyone wants to start fights, but sometimes I don't know what's real and I need someone to help me. Aren't you supposed to help, Kuzu?"

"Yes, Fu, but Hidan is violent. We're not going to discuss this anymore."

"I can be mean too sometimes," Fu said.

Kakuzu and Fu left the greenhouse and dropped Hidan off with the guard. After he took her back to her room he tucked her in for bed.

"I don't think I can sleep, Kuzu."

Kakuzu took a few pills from his pocket, "These will help you." Fu swallowed them and rested her head against the mattress. "Goodnight, Fu," Kakuzu said.

"Goodnight," Fu responded with a yawn.

Kakuzu closed the door and hesitated before locking it shut. His breathing gradually became heavier as he hurried to his office and turned the key to lock himself inside as well. His throat tightened as he collapsed onto his desk and hurriedly took out a picture of two girls playing together. The both of them looked only two or three years old. One of the girls, unmistakingly, was a younger Fu with her short turquoise hair and toothy smile. The other girl had short brown hair put up in a small ponytail on the top of her head. Her smile wasn't as large but the happiness shown through her bright green eyes. Kakuzu couldn't stop the tears that rolled down his face. He tried to muffled his sobs with his hand as he quickly turned the picture facedown to avoid seeing his daughter's face.


	6. Introspection Will Not Always Remedy

Hidan woke up, again, in the infirmary feeling half drugged and extremely angry.

"That piece of shit, Kakuzu!" Hidan screamed as he thrashed against the restraints holding his wrists and ankles to the bed.

A man with long hair, the same color as Hidan's, put in a low ponytail, wiped the dust off of his glasses and pulled the curtain open.

"Sounds like someone finally woke up. I'll go get your doctor. You've been out for a while. It's practically morning. Please try not to make too much of a mess." He disappeared behind the curtain and Hidan was left fuming.

 _That piece of fucking garbage… scumbag of a fucking person… how could he fucking do this to me again…_ Hidan's thoughts consumed him and he didn't notice when the curtain was pulled back again by Dr. Sakura Haruno.

"Hi there," she said.

Hidan growled in response.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?"

Hidan scoffed, "You look young for a doctor. What are you one of those smart prodigy kids?"

She turned to the man and put her hand to her chin in thought.

"Kabuto, do you think Hidan is fit enough to go back to his room yet?"

Kabuto looked the chart in his hands, "He's fine. But we should gather some information for Tsunade about the incident."

Turning back to Hidan she asked, "Alright, Hidan. You have two options: go nicely to your room and rest, but you have to do your best to tell me what happened, or we can skip all that and you can go to the special activity were having tonight before dinner. Oh, what are we doing again? I can't remember."

"Movie night," Kabuto said curtly.

"That's right! So what will it be, Hidan?"

"Are you fucking kidding me? What do I look like to you? A fucking child?" Hidan crossed his arms, but quickly uncrossed them for fear of looking too pouty or immature.

Sakura used her hands to mimic scales and tilted herself to one side, "Hmm sounds like someone wants to go to movie night…"

"I hate those people!" Hidan shouted.

Sakura tilted to the opposite side, "So, an explanation and back to your room then?"

"Kakuzu is a fucking shit. That's what happened."

"Kisame said carried you out of the greenhouse unconscious. Anything else you want to add?"

"No."

"I heard it's a musical tonight, Dr. Haruno," Kabuto said.

Hidan became visually more nervous at the thought of having to sit through a musical. "He stabbed me with a fucking needle, okay?"

"Why?" Sakura said calmly.

"I don't know! How am I supposed to know!"

"Than tell me why you think it happened. No wrong answers, Hidan."

"I told you I don't fucking know! He's a psycho! He could've fucking handled it better!"

Sakura nodded calmly in response.

"I picked a fight with my friend… I'm sick what do you want from me?" Hidan surrendered. He was too tired to put up an argument anyway.

Sakura undid his restraints and cleared the way for him to leave, "Don't pick any more fights, and go back to the mess hall when they call you to eat and for your medicine."

"We'll you're easy to get away from," Hidan scoffed jumping out of the bed. "Want to be my fucking shrink?"

"I know it's hard for you here, and I know Dr. Taki is, to an extent, very high stress and difficult. He is a good doctor though so listen to him. I don't want to make it more stressful here for you than it already is," Sakura leaned in closer to Hidan, "but don't mistake my kindness for weakness."

"Yeah yeah," Hidan waved her away, "I won't."

"Be careful, Hidan," Kabuto added as Hidan pushed the doors opened to exit the infirmary.

Hidan left and started the walk back to his room. His thoughts had diminished while talking to Sakura and Kabuto, but they were starting to come back, and these were much more emotional than the last ones.

 _Fuck…_ Hidan thought to himself. _How am I supposed to be "at peace" when the entire fucking world is against me._

He was started to remember what Deidara said to him about the protests, and trying to get him back on death row. He'd been through so much hell already that it physically hurt Hidan to think about going out into the world again. He imagined being dragged away in handcuffs and a muzzle as people screamed at him and then killed him. When he finally opened the door to his room he sat unmoving on his bed with his face buried in his hands.

"I really am going to die in this hell hole…"

Lunch was called a few hours later but he didn't hear it, and when Kisame went to remind Hidan, he looked so lost and confused that Kisame decided to just let him be.

* * *

Later that night Kakuzu heard a knock at his office door.

"Come in," he said. For a moment he thought it would be Hidan, and there was a small voice in his mind that wanted forgiveness for all the hurt he caused the younger man these past few months. Kakuzu couldn't believe he'd let something so reckless as a sexual affair happen between the two of them, but at the same time the thought of being physical with Hidan again made his mind loose focus, and a desire burn deep in his core. Kakuzu closed his eyes and took a breath, but scowled when he saw who entered his office.

Kisame entered and closed the door swiftly behind him. "Hey, I'm sorry to bother you, doctor. Do you have a minute?"

"Make it quick." Kakuzu had been busying himself with grunt paperwork since his own secluded episode the other day, but still didn't want to be bothered with anything else.

"You need to talk to Hidan. That guy looks the worst I've ever seen him since he got here. He needs a professional to talk to. He's just sitting there mumbling to himself. I couldn't hear exactly what he was saying but I definitely heard your name. "

Kakuzu looked up from his work and held his breath as Kisame continued.

"Did something happen during his therapy? I've never seen you fight with a patient, and the incidents that have been happening between the two of you are-"

"Get out, Kisame."

Kisame looked shocked and held up his hands in defense. "Fine. I'll leave, but you should do your job and help that poor kid."

Kakuzu shot up from his chair, "That _'poor kid'_ is a murderer!"

Now it was Kisame's turn to take offense. "Then maybe the both of you might have something in common! We've all heard the rumors about you! Everyone is terrified of you! Everyone except maybe your one and only patient, Hidan!

"Then tell me, Kisame, what do the rumors say? Who do they say I killed? Was it my own daughter? Was it her mother? What about my brother? Did I kill him too? What do they fucking say about me, Kisame?!"

"I- I don't know. They say a lot of things, but that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about how maybe you can really connect with this guy! Get him to feel like he's not all alone! You should know better than anyone else in this place that just because people talk shit and print shit in the news that it's not always the entire fucking story, Kakuzu! Sometimes its not even the fucking truth! Both of us have to deal with horrible fucking shit every single day in this hell-hole, but this thing with the press demanding to come in at every hour of the goddamn day, and the riots that my guards have to calm down every fucking week- It's fucking ridiculous!"

"Do you have a point, Kisame? Because I don't have time for your whining right now," Kakuzu gnarled.

Kisame took a deep breath. "Look, Kakuzu. I don't believe any of those things they say about you. I really don't, but what happened to you, and what's happening to Hidan, well, I can't help but see some parallels.

Kakuzu dragged his attention back to his work while Kisame walked closer to the desk and turned over the picture frame of the two girls. Fuu and Kakuzu's daughter smiled up at him.

"Put it down," Kakuzu warned grabbing the picture away.

"You know I still remember babysitting her. She was the sweetest kid I ever knew. I'm not going to lie and say she wasn't a handful though," Kisame let out a small laugh. "I thought you were going to have a heart attack when you came home and saw she somehow finger painted all over all the walls while I was asleep."

Kakuzu bit the inside of his cheek and felt the small engravings on the picture frame press into his fingers as they tightened around it.

"I know it's hard, Kakuzu. It seems to be hard for everyone these days, but maybe it's time to let go of the past and try to make a difference for the future."

Kisame left and when the door to the office closed Kakuzu leaned back in his chair. He took a breath and put his hands over face. _'I'm going to lose my job, and then I'm going to lose Fuu…'_ he thought. The only reason he begged for this job in the first place was to be closer to her. She was all Kakuzu had left after his daughter died. _'And Hidan…'_ Kakuzu knew months ago that he had feelings for the man, but pushed them aside as nonsense. Under no circumstances was he going to put himself in danger of being pulled away from his niece, and Hidan was doing just that.

 _'Hidan is different. He's not crazy. He's brainwashed. He's not scared of me. I can help him...'_ Kakuzu sat anxiously as he tried to make a decision.

"Fuck!" Kakuzu pushed away the thoughts with a growl and slammed his fists against his desk. He placed the picture face down back inside of the desk and picked up his thick wool jacket from the coat rack. As he left he locked the door behind him and vaguely thought of visiting Hidan in his room, but instead placed the key into his pocket and started towards the exit.

* * *

A light rain had begun when he finally pulled into his driveway, which, in actuality, wasn't a driveway at all. Just a plot of grass big enough for his car outside his home. Kakuzu lived a few miles off the main roads in a secluded area that you needed to take a few seldom-known dirt roads to get to. His house wasn't large or fancy. Just a log cabin with two bed rooms, one bathroom, a small kitchen, and an open living space. He opened the door and threw his bag and jacket down onto the floor. If you looked hard enough you could see that the house was once quite beautiful, but now, being stripped of mirrors and pictures, with holes punched in the walls, clothes thrown across the floor, and dishes unwashed, it was destitute of all the warmth usually associated with a home.

Kakuzu pushed open the door to his bedroom which just contained a bed, a cheap, dark wooden desk, and an old white dresser. The door creaked on broken hinges most likely from being slammed shut so many times. He sat on the edge of his bed as thoughts of the last few months circled around him.

During one of their first sessions Hidan asked to touch the scars on his face, which Kakuzu forcefully declined, but even during those first few sessions he couldn't help but feel a small pull towards the man. And right now, as he sat pressed up against the frame of his bed he thought about those strong hands touching him again. Kakuzu closed his eyes and remembered their passionate encounter a few days ago. He remembered Hidan's breath in his ear muttering his name, and how Hidan's premature grey hair, even when slicked back, felt so soft under his touch. Unlike Kakuzu's own hair, which was thick and flooded down his shoulders like brown ink, Hidan's hair seemed to be immune to gravity and swished through Kakuzu's hands like feathers.

Kakuzu closed his eyes as he remembered feeling Hidan's toned stomach against his palms and how, when he kissed all the way down to the silver happy trail, Kakuzu felt the soft pubic hairs on his face. Kakuzu thought of Hidan's violet eyes looking at all of his scars, not in fear or disgust, but in concern and, in Kakuzu's mind, compassion.

Kakuzu wanted to go further with the man. He wanted so badly to have Hidan underneath him in bed, and calling his name. He wanted to have that comfort of being with someone who didn't look at him like he was some sort of freak. Hidan had told him once during a therapy session that while he was in prison the other inmates called him a monster. Hidan had gone on to say that even friends he'd known for years called him that as well after everything went public. Kakuzu, no doubt, could relate. He understood how it felt to feel unwanted and mistreated by those who he thought cared for him.

Kakuzu ran his hand down his arm imagining it was Hidan leaning towards him again to grab his face for another unpredictable kiss. Kakuzu didn't know Hidan would be so bold as to kiss him, but after he did the desire grew so fast within him that he knew he couldn't control himself and so their little affair had happened. Now, in the dark of his room, Kakuzu felt like he made the wrong decision to cast Hidan away. The mental stress must have ruined him because god knew Kakuzu himself was impaired from it.

It had been 10 years since his daughter's death, but it had crushed him in a way that was unrepairable. Kakuzu tried his best to take care of himself, and even took on boxing to try and release some of his sorrows, but it was useless. Hidan felt like the release he'd been longing for all this time. Now, at 48 years old, he felt so destroyed that he believed even someone like Hidan, equally ruined yet still so young, could never feel anything even close to affection towards him, and the pain within Kakuzu was so deep that adding another scar would be too much to bear. Fuu was Kakuzu's last connection to his daughter, and if he pursued Hidan he would lose everything. Fuu herself slipped in and out of reality, and most of the time she still believed she was a little girl when she was really almost to 17 years old. The girl had starved herself so horribly during her pubescent years that even her body still resembled something like small child. Fuu didn't have much time left before her disease took her by death or complete mental confusion.

That night Kakuzu slipped into a restless sleep filled with dreams of Hidan gradually losing his mind in the asylum, and Fuu all alone without Kakuzu to guide her, and deteriorating to the point where she couldn't even recognize herself anymore.


	7. Away From Doctors Away From Panic

Hidan didn't even realize he fell asleep until a guard barked at his door to get up and get out. The gray of the early morning shown through the small barred window in his room and he peered around his door to see a stream of residents already starting to crowd the halls. Hidan rolled his eyes and grunted. "God, why do I have to wake up everyday to these idiots..."

He was completely drained of energy, but took it upon himself to sneak in a quick cold shower. When he saw the stubble on his face he left it in surrender to his depressed mood. Hidan quickly redressed and was walking down the hall when he felt a tap on his shoulder.

"Hey. You okay?" Hidan turned to see Itachi. The man's voice was low, and the bags under his eyes were apparent, but he looked far more alert than Hidan did.

"What do you think?" Hidan scowled.

"I heard about what happened in the greenhouse."

"Wow. Word travels fast around here," Hidan said.

"No. It doesn't. Kisame told me."

"What are you fuckin' him?" Hidan scoffed.

Itachi's breath hitched and Hidan raised his brows. Itachi looked around and quickly pulled Hidan into an unlocked janitorial closet.

"What the fuck, Uchiha? What the hell is your problem?" Hidan yelled. Itachi slapped a hand across Hidan's mouth.

"Shut up." The room was pitch black and Hidan could feel the rod of a metal mop pressed up against his back. The two of them stayed silent as a figured walked by the door. Hidan pulled Itachi's hand off his mouth.

"Why the hell did you drag me in here?" Hidan whispered.

"Kisame didn't just tell me about what happened in the greenhouse," Itachi said.

"Did he tell you he wants to stick it in your ass?" Hidan reached for the door handle but Itachi stopped him.

"Tsunade is no longer going to be the head of the institution."

"So? Who cares? She's a bitch."

"The man taking over views people as objects and his ideals of morality are corrupt. The people he employs are no better."

"That's fantastic. Now let me out." Hidan's depression finally stole the last of his energy away and he ached to just sit down. Itachi put another hand down to stop Hidan from turning the door handle.

"It's more serious than that. That man is the reason I'm in here."

"Itachi I can't help you, and I don't give a shit. Thank you for being the bearer of horrible news, but I just want to sit the fuck down."

"Hidan listen to me. This man knows all about you and will kill you if it means he gets what he wants."

"Good. I hope he does kill me," Hidan said and slipped out of the closet. Itachi dug his nails into his palms and cursed under his breath.

Hidan knew he was doomed to die. It would either be here or out in the real world, and when it finally happened Hidan would greet death with a smile like all of his scriptures said he should.

* * *

Kakuzu arrived to Ame later than usual that morning which, unfortunately, did not go unnoticed by the staff.

"Good morning, ," Shizune said from the front desk. "You're in late. Are you feeling okay?"

"I'm well, Shizune." Kakuzu continued walking but the woman hurried around the desk and stopped him before he could get out of the hallway.

"Wait! Wait! I have some notices for you!" She handed him a standard envelope and a few other folded papers, "And Tsunade wants you in her office for a meeting as soon as you can get there."

Kakuzu took the notices and nodded, but Shizune stepped in front of him again. "She wouldn't ask for your time unless it was important, ."

Kakuzu furrowed his brows. "Fine. Call her and tell her I'm coming up right now."

* * *

Kakuzu didn't bother knocking on Tsunade's office door, and instead let himself in.

"What is it this time, Tsunade? Are you going to yell at me for what happened in the greenhouse because I don't have the time for this right now," Kakuzu growled. He was thinking of Hidan as he stepped into the office, and how the young man might be on his way to their daily early-afternoon session. It would be their first in about four days, and since their little affair. Kakuzu decided the night before that he would fight to keep Hidan in his care just like he fought to stay with Fuu for all these years. As for his niece, he went over everything and decided, it would be a bit of a compromise, but he could take care of Fuu just as well as the staff at the institute, and he would get her out even if he had to do it without permission. He wouldn't have trouble keeping the girl a secret. Then he would somehow get Hidan out. Kakuzu didn't know how yet, but he would do it. Of course the thought passed his mind that maybe Hidan didn't want to get out, and, even more so, that maybe Hidan didn't want to be involved with him at all after what the young man had been through. Kakuzu pushed the thoughts away as he angrily stepped up to Tsunade's desk.

"Are you going to answer me?" His deep voice reverberated through the room as he spun the occupied desk chair around to face him. Kakuzu's rage immediately changed to confusion and concern when he saw the red-eyed face before him. The woman had obviously been crying, and now she looked up at him with face full of agony.

"Tsunade, what's going on?" Kakuzu had never seen the woman so distressed before let alone seen her cry.

"They're getting rid of me," She said. "They're getting rid of me, and there's nothing I can say or do to stop it."

"Tsunade, what are you talking about?"

"What? Did you not read the damn notice? It's all over the fucking place, Kakuzu!" Tsunade leaned forward and Kakuzu smelled the liquor from her breath.

"You've been drinking."

"No kidding," she took a half-empty bottle out from under her desk, "I lost the hospital and I've failed my patients. Just because I'm a shrink doesn't mean my coping strategies are perfect."

"What did you do?"

"Nothing! I did absolutely nothing! But the institute has become such a national spectacle from the whole Jashinist murder case that the board is replacing me with some terrorist hell bent on imposing new strategies that he assures will 'give the public the peace of mind they deserve.' Whatever the hell that means!" Tsunade poured her face into her hands. "I don't know what I'm going to do…" Kakuzu tentatively put a reassuring hand on her back.

"Tsunade, who is the board replacing you with?"

"Read the damn notice, Kakuzu." Kakuzu turned to the desk and opened the envelope Shizune gave him.

 _Staff of the Amegakure Institute,_

 _This notice is to inform the you that Dr. Tsunade Senju will be stepping down from her position as head medical administrator and chief director at the hospital. After recent incidents concerning demands from the public, and the Institute's board itself, Dr. Danzo Shimura will be stepping forward to reprieve Dr. Senju of her duties. Please note that Dr. Shimura will be transferring his team of medical specialists to further assist in the training of the institute's present staff to establish the new principles and high standards the Institute's board has ruled upon._

 _Sincerely, The Amegakure Institute Board of Administrators_

"Danzo…" Kakuzu growled, "Of course that ass would be behind this." As much as Kakuzu knew Danzo Shimura had been trying to gain more control over the hospital since before he'd even started working there. The man was known for his questionable ethical behavior and he insisted on using experimental therapy strategies that followed in suit. Kakuzu saw first hand Tsunade promise death to the man for suggesting they use a painful therapy method on patients. That was years ago when Danzo was still a doctor at Ame, and that particular day was the day she was voted in by the board and transferred the man far away to a lesser known hospital.

"Tsunade, are you sure that Hidan's case is the cause of this?"

"No. I'm not fucking sure about anything anymore." Tsunade tried to pour herself another drink, but Kakuzu took the bottle away. "Maybe it is… indirectly," She said.

"Explain what you know," Kakuzu said.

"That bastard has been after my position for years, and he used the international uproar from Hidan's case to plea for stricter rules and "safety" measures for the institute. Then he put me up for indictment against board and won." Tsunade rubbed her temples and sighed. "He's slowly voted in all his lackeys on the board's administration over the past decade, and it was only a matter of time until they finally got rid of me. This was just them seizing the moment." Kakuzu placed the bottle back on the desk.

"Drink up then. Sounds like you'll need it."

Tsunade poured the liquor into her shot glass. "I didn't call you up here to talk about me, Kakuzu. I called you here to give you a warning. After what I've been through I know that you're next on the chopping block. The board won't hesitate to use your criminal record against you if you don't comply with their rules." She drank down the swig of booze with a scowl. "They'll take Fuu away from you, Kakuzu. They'll make it so you never see her again."

"Let them just fucking try," Kakuzu snarled. Tsunade gave a sympathetic glance and placed her hand on his.

"If you need help… I'm here. I don't like those bastards anymore than you do and, contrary to what the board is having everyone believe, I care a hell of a lot about the people in this place."

"I know you do," Kakuzu said. He gave Tsunade's hand a gentle squeeze and then hurried out to the west wing.

' _I'm going to have to get Fuu out quicker than I intended to,'_ Kakuzu thought. He walked briskly to his office and, once situated, checked the clock. It read 12:05. He growled low. Hidan was late. He picked up his office phone and quickly dialed in for the guard's office.

"Hello?" Kisame's deep and raspy voice echoed into the phone.

"Hidan is late for our session. Do you know where he is?" Kakuzu said.

"Late, huh? Could've swore I saw him make his way up there just a bit ago… Okay yeah, I'm sure I saw him head that way. He's probably in the west wing somewhere. I'm sending a guard to do a quick room sweep and I'll get the guys at the cameras to check it out. I'm going to start searching near the entrance to the west wing. I'll call you when we find him."

Kakuzu heard the faint buzz of Kisame using his walkie talkie to call for the guards and the phone hung up.

He didn't want to wait though. What if Hidan was in trouble? What if he'd done something to hurt himself? The thoughts were enough to make him grab a tranquilizer syringe from his medical kit and take off through the west wing.

* * *

After 30 minutes of roaming the halls, Kakuzu returned to his office and re-dialed the guard's phone. It rang with no answer. Kakuzu cursed and ran out of his office so fast that he almost slammed into Kisame.

"Holy shit, Kakuzu! Would you warn a guy next time you wanna jump out like that!" Kisame was obviously stressed out as much as Kakuzu was about Hidan's disappearance.

"Have you found him yet?"

"No, I'm on my way to check the grounds now."

"Fine. I'm coming with you." Kakuzu reached inside the office to grab his coat and the two hurried out of the building from the west wing's fire exit.

Out on the grounds the sun shown high across the tall stone walls of the institute. Kisame unhooked his walkie talkie and spoke into it.

"Mei, what's your 20?" There was static and then a woman's voice spoke over the station.

"10-20 Floor 2 West."

Kisame bit his lip to think for a moment, "Roger that. I need guards to the grounds."

"Roger that," Mei responded. Kakuzu looked around the area and motioned to the entrance of the institute.

"I'm going to check the gate. Have some guards meet me there and have the rest search the perimeter."

"Here," Kisame threw Kakuzu a spare walkie-talkie. "Let me know if you find anything." Kakuzu caught it and the two men started off in opposite directions.

" _I swear if this boy tried to get out again I'll kill him,"_ Kakuzu thought. He reached the gate and searched for any sign of Hidan. He didn't see any footprints, or torn clothing from trying to jump over the gate. He definitely didn't see any kind of struggle either.

"Shit," Kakuzu cursed. ' _What if I'm too late and he ran off already?'_ Kakuzu clipped the radio onto his pants and started climbing up the gate.

'I'm getting to old for this shit," Kakuzu mumbled under his breath. At the top of the gate he looked around the grounds. The gate was high enough to get a better view, but all he saw was the team of guards coming to help him search at the entrance. He jump down on the outside of the institute, and he saw the guard manning the entrance lazily reading a magazine with his feet up on the counter inside the small office. Kakuzu scowled and banged against the glass of the guard box. The guard jumped and threw the magazine up into the air. He quickly pressed the intercom to speak.

" ! What- wha- what's wrong?" The guard's voice was shaky and he was obviously embarrassed from being caught slacking off.

"We have a missing resident," Kakuzu roared. "Check you cameras and make sure he didn't just run out because you couldn't do your goddamn job!"

"Kakuzu!" Kakuzu heard his radio buzz with Kisame's voice. "They just found something on the mid-wing cameras!" Kakuzu pushed the button to respond.

"I'm on my way." He then turned to growl at the scared man in the security office, and told him to open the goddamn gate because he wasn't going to scale the thing again.

The security team stayed searching on the grounds, and Kisame and Kakuzu ran back inside to the building to the guard's station. The two bustled into a small room with at least eight monitors on the walls, and Mei, a tall woman with long red hair, focused intently on one of the screens. Kisame stepped forward to look over the woman's shoulder.

"What did you find, Mei?"

"We found him. Look at this- camera four, mid-wing." She rewinded the footage and, sure enough, there was Hidan. The monitor showed him struggling to walk up the stairs and then suddenly sitting down and holding his head.

"He's having a panic attack. We have to go find him-" Kakuzu said, but was cut off by Mei.

"Wait- watch what happens." The three watched as a little girl helped Hidan up and lead him up the stairs into the west wing.

"Holy shit," Kisame squinted at the screen, "Is that..."

"Fuu," Kakuzu said. Kakuzu was wide eyed at this point, and the knot in his stomach grew tighter.

"That was over an hour and a half ago. The cameras show them heading into the west wing, but they disappear after they get to the old ward. We don't have cameras there because that part of the building is locked down," Mei said.

"We've already checked up to the gates at the end of the west wing. They weren't there. We could check the basement. They might have gone down the west wing stairs, but it's a long shot. Mei call the team in the west wing and tell them to go down and..." Kisame turned to look at Kakuzu. "Kakuzu? Are you alright? Kakuzu?"

"I know where they are," Kakuzu said.

* * *

Hidan stole an apple from an unsuspecting resident preoccupied with making spit bubbles and headed up the stairway to Kakuzu's office. His appetite was gone and he'd barely eaten anything since the day before. He didn't think he could even stomach the apple right now. He took a deep breathe and continued up the stairs. He was sure Kakuzu told him that their sessions would continue, but lately all Hidan could think about were the riots happening outside the institute, and how much he missed Konan.

" _It's all my fault she's tied up in this fucking mess…"_ Hidan thought. " _If I'd just pleaded guilty... none of this would be happening. I wouldn't be trapped here. I'd be fucking dead..."_ All of the sudden Hidan's head started to pound and he dropped the apple as he tried to regain balance on the stairs. "My fucking head…" he started whispering to himself out loud, "If I'd just killed myself after the ritual… But then I'd be in Hell… why didn't they choose someone else to perform the ritual… I'd be dead… but I would've never met Kakuzu…" He sat down on the stairs and held his head in his hand. The other hand clutched to the railing.

"Kuzu is my uncle, you know." Hidan was startled by the ardent voice of a little girl.

"What…" Hidan's head was pounding so hard it hurt to open his eyes.

"You're the one who punched my Uncle Kuzu."

"Yeah… well he punched me first." Hidan tried to stand, but lurched forward by accident only to have his hand caught by Fuu.

"Here's your apple," she said handing the fruit back to him. "You dropped it." Fuu helped Hidan up the rest of the stairs and started leading him through the halls of the west wing.

"Where are we going? I think I'm going to fuckin' die, dammit." Hidan was still holding his head, and although he could open his eyes, his breathing was starting to become affected by his sudden panic.

"Whenever I get confused Kuzu always tells me to go to the safe place."

"That's fuckin' great, kid. I... I don't want to walk… my head…" Hidan's breath hitched as he spoke and his hands were starting to shake with every step. Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion, and he was suddenly caught by the feeling of intense fear. "I have to get back to my room! I feel like I'm going to have a fuckin' heart attack!"

"Shhhh. It's okay we're almost there. Everything is fine. You're having a little bit of a confusing day that's all." As Fuu spoke Hidan could hear Kakuzu's influence on the girl. She sounded just like him, calm and so sure about what she was saying, so he tried to ignore the voices in his head as much as he could and let Fuu lead him through the maze-like asylum to the end of a hallway he never noticed before. The hallway was blocked by a heavy gate.

"The gate's locked. It's a dead end," he said.

"There's a trick to it." Fuu roughly shook the metal of the gate and it lifted up off the ground. "I need your help to lift it higher," she said. Hidan lifted the gate over Fuu's head and the two walked under. When Hidan let the gate go it fell to the ground with a metallic bang. Fuu lead Hidan to a heavy wooden door, and when she went to open it Hidan, for a moment, saw how frail she was. She looked so thin, and although her skin was dark like Kakuzu's, he could see blue veins popping out from underneath the surface.

"We're here," she whispered excitedly, and lead Hidan into the room.

Hidan was trying to slow his breath as he looked around at the small room. It was about half the size of Kakuzu's office and painted a soft blue. The floor was made of dark pine boards and the walls were decorated with colorful drawings, undoubtedly made by Fuu, of different animals and bugs. On the far wall was a colorful stained glass door leading out to a small rounded balcony. Fuu flicked on a light switch, and the room brightened from the soft glow of a rope of string lights hung around the perimeter of the ceiling.

"Nobody knows about this place 'cept me and Uncle Kuzu! He said it's one of the oldest rooms in the whole hospital!" Fuu giggled as she closed the door. She hurried over to the wall and gently removed a few drawings. Hidan slowly lowered himself to the ground and tried to focus on steady breathing instead of the manic thoughts racing through his mind.

"Look at this one!" Fuu held up a drawing of a large bug with four wings and too many legs to count.

"That… that looks like a monster," Hidan said squinting at the illustration.

"How rude! He's one of my friends and he is very handsome!" She brought the picture to her face and gave it a kiss. "Now look at this one!" Hidan squinted in confusion at the drawing of a much too happy Kakuzu surrounded by hearts and flowers.

"That's Kuzu! I made him this drawing because he feels sad sometimes, too."

"I think you got the mouth wrong. That man doesn't smile," Hidan said. Fuu ran back over and stuck the pictures back to the wall. She opened a small plastic tupperware and grabbed a box of markers, and then got some paper from a small wooden shelf.

"Here!" She handed a piece to Hidan. "Drawing always makes me feel better when I get crazy. I like when Kuzu draws with me. He's so funny." Fuu laid down on her stomach and immediately started to draw. Hidan took a deep breath and closed his eyes. When he opened them he tried to pick up a marker, but his shaking hands prevented him from bringing it to the paper. He dropped it and Fuu looked up.

"You're so silly. No wonder Kuzu likes you so much."

"What does he say about me?" Hidan asked.

"That you hurt a lot of people and that's why you're here," Fuu said absentmindedly as she continued to draw.

"Your Uncle's an ass," Hidan mumbled. He tried to pick up the marker again and bring it to the paper, but his hands were still shaking.

"I'll help," Fuu said, and she took Hidan's hand and guided the marker he was holding to make a heart shape. "We're so silly! Hearts aren't green! They're red! We're so silly!" Fuu continued to laugh and Hidan saw that her lips were chapped and she had some missing teeth. Her nose was a bit runny and her eyes a little glossy as well, but her laugh was full, and it prompted Hidan to start laughing along too.

"We're so silly!" She repeated. "We're so silly!" Hidan watched as Fuu kept laughing and drawing. After she finished her picture she stuck it on the wall next to the others. She lead him to a carpet with some pillows stacked against the wall and Fuu started taking out picture book after picture book. She showed Hidan her favorite books, and told him which were Kakuzu's favorites. She read to him for awhile, and when she struggled with the words Hidan helped her to sound them out. His headache was starting to reside and the shaking was getting better, but the panic attack had swept him of his energy.

"This feels like a dream," Hidan said to her. "I'm so tired. I can barely keep my eyes open. This can't be real... can it?"

"Than let's take an afternoon nap. Kuzu always says Sundays are for afternoon naps."

"Oh is that… is that right?" Hidan yawned. "I didn't know it was Sunday…" Hidan rested his head against the wall and closed his eyes.

Fuu laid her head on Hidan's thigh and tried to finish reading her book, but soon her eyes became heavy as well. The little room was quiet and, as the sun's rays drifted about, the two slept.


	8. Trapped in Our Heads

_Thank you all for waiting for this chapter! I've been getting so many messages about when the update was coming and I hope you love it! New chapters should be coming at a much faster pace. So far this has been so much fun to write and thank you all again for the support._

* * *

"I know where they are," Kakuzu said.

Kisame stared in disbelief, and Kakuzu spoke tentatively. "They're in the far west wing," he concentrated on the frozen close up of Fuu and Hidan on the center monitor, "They went down that way before the guards checked."

"You do know there's a locked gate, right?" Kisame asked. Kakuzu ignored the statement and started for the door, but Kisame grabbed his shoulder. Kakuzu knew his doings could potentially cause controversy at the institute, but he was hoping he could convince Kisame to keep this secret. Especially since Kakuzu didn't know how the new administration would react to the "hidden" room he created. Mei and Kisame were silent as Kakuzu tried to explained himself.

"The gate is broken and can be lifted."

Kisame sighed heavily, obviously frustrated with Kakuzu's secrecy. "Kakuzu, I'm not asking questions because the more time we talk the less we have. Mei, watch the cameras and call us if anything changes. I'm leaving you in charge for now." Kisame nodded towards Kakuzu.

"Lead the way."

* * *

Hidan's head lolled to the side, and hit the wood shelf with a soft thud, waking him.

"Fuck… where the hell am I?" Hidan held his head in his hands and squeezed his eyes shut. He could only remember bits and pieces about how he arrived in the room. ' _Kakuzu's daughter brought me here… no she's his niece… his daughter's dead...'_ He opened his eyes and saw the girl asleep on his lap. ' _She looks so sick,'_ Hidan thought. Fuu laid on her side facing Hidan with her hands curled under her ear. Hidan ran his fingers through her turquoise hair, only to find thinning in some spots, and tucked it behind her ear. He looked out the window towards the setting sun. How long had he been here? Fuu slowly opened her eyes and yawned.

"Nap's over I guess, huh?" She said.

Hidan took a deep breath. His mind was mucked with nightmares of riots and memories that he didn't recognize. He felt confused and upset as if he held all the pieces but no way to tell what was real and what was made-up.

Fuu sat up and, recognizing Hidan's distress, crawled over to the wooden shelf and reached inside. She held in her hand a small, white bottle. She whispered to him, "This is the stuff Kuzu gives me sometimes," and placed the bottle in Hidan's hand, "Have some." Hidan opened the bottle and unthinkingly poured a handful of pills into his hand and swallowed them.

"Good, right?" Fuu asked.

"I don't know," Hidan mumbled. The two sat in silence for a moment before Hidan stood up and used the wall to steady himself as he walked over to the window. The setting sun blazed hot rays against the wood floor and the colors from the stained glass reflected onto Hidan's feet. When he reached the old glass door he pushed against it. The metal frame made a quick screech and Hidan pushed again, this time using his full body weight, finally opening the door and flinging with it dust from the outside and an early spring chill.

"Kuzu never let me open that..." Fuu said with curiosity and hurried over to meet Hidan. The two leaned against the balcony and watched the last glimmer of pink disappear behind the mountains. Hidan leered down over the thin rail. They were up on the top floor so it was a considerable drop to the ground.

"If I jumped everything would just go away," Hidan said.

Fuu sighed. "Yeah, I think about that sometimes too." The two were silent for a few moments before Fuu added, "I feel like I'm trapped."

Hidan raised a brow, but quickly whipped around when he heard the door slam open and saw Kakuzu and Kisame pour into the room. Kakuzu lurched towards the balcony and yanked Fuu and Hidan back into the room. Throwing Hidan to the floor he held tightly onto Fuu's forearm in raging frustration, "What the hell is wrong with you, Fuu! What part of 'you're not allowed here without me' don't you understand? What if you got hurt?" Fuu started to cry.

"I'm sor-sorry," she sobbed.

Kisame picked Hidan up off the floor, but when he found the younger man couldn't stand he knew something was off. Kisame reached into his pocket, pulled out a small flashlight, and shined it into Hidan's eyes. Hidan tried to wave the man's light away but Kisame pinned him to the wall. "Kakuzu, get over here. Something's wrong with Hidan."

Kakuzu saw the spilled pill bottle laying on the ground and mumbled a curse under his breath. Fuu moved in closer and started to cry into Kakuzu's shoulder. He picked her up and handed her to Kisame. "Get her out of here now."

Kisame took Fuu and said, "I'm not leaving."

Kakuzu scowled at Kisame. He hurried to place a hand on Hidan's head and gasped at how hot it was. Hidan spoke weakly in delirium.

"Kakuzu?"

"Hidan, lay down now. You're not well," Kakuzu said, but before Kakuzu could restrain him, Hidan wrapped his arms around the older man's neck and planted a sloppy kiss on his lips.

"I can't stop thinking about kissing you again," Hidan breathed before falling to the ground with a thud.

Fuu's crying declined into soft sobs muffled by Kisame's shoulder. Kakuzu stood mortified and slowly turned to look at Kisame. With wide eyes Kisame instinctively reached for his radio and hit the talk button.

"Mei, 10-20 far west 14. I need back up and a medic ASAP," Kisame said then hesitated.

"Don't," Kakuzu mouthed silently.

"Page Dr. Senju we have a situation, over."

* * *

"You're lucky I'm not the boss anymore or I'd fire your ass, Kakuzu!" Tsunade turned to Kisame, "And you too! You're supposed to be the eyes and ears of this place and you didn't even think to check if the west wing gates were all secure!" The woman sat back down and massaged her temples.

"Kakuzu you only have one patient! One patient! He's classified as mentally unstable and a fucking dignified psycho, yes, but you're the most experienced doctor we have. If you can't handle him..." Tsunade sighed.

"Kisame get out. I need to speak with Dr. Taki alone." Kisame tried to throw a sympathetic glance as he left, but the other man glared back in anger. The door shut and the two were alone.

"What did he tell you?" Kakuzu questioned.

"Everything."

Kakuzu went silent.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Kakuzu? You snuck Fuu into the far west wing, and left painkillers unattended! Imagine if Fuu was the one to overdose! She'd be dead!" Tsunade yelled.

"Fuu knows how many pills to take," Kakuzu said.

"Obviously not! She gave Hidan about fifteen! And what's this I hear about Hidan kissing you "again"? Are you willing to explain that?!"

Kakuzu tried to speak but couldn't.

"Are you fucking serious, Kakuzu? Are you trying to ruin your career?" Tsunade's voice turned to a whisper, "because I will ruin it right here, right now, if you don't tell me the goddamned truth."

Kakuzu ran a shaky hand through his hair. It was muddled and frizzy from all the running around that day, and barely secured into the loose bun from that morning. He ran his hand down his face, and he glanced at the clock. It read 9:30pm.

"Tsunade… he was delirious."

"Kakuzu, I don't have time for your whiny bullshit! Starting tomorrow I'm not going to be the one sitting in this chair! It's going to be Danzo, so if you're hiding something tell me and we can settle this now, or else he's going to be the one to find out, and you know everyone involved will suffer." Kakuzu bit his lip.

"Yes," he said simply.

Tsunade stopped her ranting and stared, "What do you mean, yes?" Kakuzu shook his head and avoided eye contact with Tsunade.

"There was an… incident."

Tsunade threw her hands up in disdain. "Oh my god, Kakuzu are you fucking kidding me?"

"Tsunade, please," Kakuzu begged. "I need this job. I need to be there for Fuu and give her what she needs and-"

"Than you should've thought about that before you had sex with your patient, Kakuzu!" Tsunade yelled exasperatedly. "I was rooting for you Kakuzu! I really was, but this mess... why? Why would you do that?"

"I don't… I don't know," Kakuzu said. Tsunade dropped her face into her hands and the two sat in silence.

"Is it me?" Tsunade asked.

Kakuzu looked up.

"I'm sorry… I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when they died. I didn't even know if you wanted me around anymore after we broke up and you fell in love with San. So I didn't even bother coming around when I heard you two were going to have a baby. That was a mistake."

Kakuzu shook his head. "I don't want to talk about this."

"You never do and you never have," Tsunade said.

"You have no idea what you're saying, Tsunade. That was a long time ago."

"Do you still keep your daughter's picture in your desk? The one of her and Fuu? She looked just like you. I wish I could've met her. Even just once. I wish I could've helped after… after everything."

Kakuzu met her eyes, "You did more for me than anyone else did by letting me come back to practice psychiatry."

"I was too late though, wasn't I? Our relationship was never the same. We can't even talk anymore without yelling at each other."

"Tsunade, our relationship was always like that. That's why it didn't work," Kakuzu said. Tsunade put her hands over her eyes.

"And when I saw you again for the first time after all those years… with all those scars. I couldn't help but think I could have done something to prevent it."

Kakuzu sighed, "You know that's not true."

"Fuck, Kakuzu. Why him?" Tsunade wiped tears away, "I knew you were lonely, but I was right here, and I thought I let you know that when I told you and Fuu to come here."

Kakuzu shook his head, "Tsunade…"

"I don't know what's going through your mind. I never have, but don't do this to yourself. If you go after him you'll lose what little you have left, and it won't be worth it."

"You're wrong."

"Kakuzu… I'm not going to say anything, but you can do better than the hell your making yourself live through. Why do you make yourself hold this pain in your heart? Why don't you just let it all go?" Kakuzu avoided the questions.

"Just because you tell me you're going to keep quiet doesn't mean Kisame won't say something."

"Kisame never wanted to get you in any trouble. He was reluctant to speak, but I made him talk. You're not the only one with secrets here, Kakuzu, but if you get caught again you're not going to have my mercy to bounce back from. It will be the end."

"I want to get Hidan out, and Fuu," Kakuzu said. Tsunade couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"What did you just say? Have you missed everything that has been going on for the past five months? For the past two years? It's impossible. He either stays here or he's back on death row."

"Tsunade I can do it, but I need your help."

"Are you fucking kid- oh my god Kakuzu are you listening to yourself right now?"

"Three weeks. All I need is three weeks, Tsunade."

"That's nonsense, Kakuzu! Will you listen to me for once in your life! You will lose everything!"

"I don't have anything!" Kakuzu yelled, "Everything I ever had, ever loved, is gone." Tsunade frowned and let out a shaky breath.

"Get out," she growled.

"Tsunade..."

"I said get out!"

* * *

Hidan woke up, again, in the infirmary, and moaned.

"Looks like someone's awake... again," Kabuto said.

"I really hate you, four eyes." Hidan spat.

"Gonna have to do better than that," Kabuto sighed.

"Where's Dr. Haruno?" Hidan asked. Kabuto gave him a cocky smile.

"Oh? You didn't hear?"

"No. I didn't, asshole."

"She's no longer with us. She was relocated to a different hospital. We'll miss her although I always did find her lack of creativity in treatments a bit... boring."

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"We're under new management, Hidan." Hidan thought back to what Itachi told him in the janitor's closet and a pit formed in his stomach.

"Who- who's my doctor than?"

"Don't be so worried Hidan. You'll meet him in a bit." Kabuto disappeared behind the curtain and Hidan cursed under his breath. He tried to remember how he got here in the first place. ' _Fuu… the broken gate… leaning over the balcony… didn't she say she felt trapped? That she wanted to die sometimes?'_ Hidan furrowed his brow, ' _Kakuzu was there… he held me I think… no that can't be right…'_ A few minutes passed before the curtain was thrown open again. Hidan almost screamed in horror at the person who appeared behind it. A ' _man?'_ with pure white skin, long pitch-black hair, and slitted yellow eyes all but slithered towards him.

"You must be Hidan. Call me, Orochimaru. I'm the new," he threw his hands up in mock celebration, "head of medical. Fantastic. I know."

"Holy shit! You look like that bitch from _The Ring_."

"Is that a... film?"

"Mm-hm" Hidan's response was one more of frightened gripe than an answer.

Orochimaru tsked and went about looking through some charts, "Hm, I can't say I'm familiar."

"Well… ya' should look into it."

"Hm, look at these charts. No wonder everybody is so interested in you."

"What are you talking about?"

"Well," Orochimaru sat down on the bed prompting Hidan to visibly retreat backwards into the pillows, "yesterday you overdosed on a dosage of opiates that should've killed you in an hour, yet here you are. It's almost like you're… you're... what's the word I'm looking for?"

"Immortal?" Hidan said. Orochimaru hissed in agreement.

"Precisely." Orochimaru narrowed his eyes and the two sat in awkward silence.

"Okay. I'm gonna throw up if I have to keep looking at your face," Hidan said. Orochimaru rolled his eyes and got up from the bed.

"I'm finished with you for now," he said and haphazardly yanked the I.V. from Hidan's arm.

"Oi! Fuck! Even I know you're not supposed to do that!"

"Leave, Hidan."

"Don't gotta tell me twice," Hidan leaped out of the bed and quickly left the medical wing.

Hidan strode down the hallway to the cafeteria. Good, it was breakfast. Hidan quickly scanned the residents until he spotted Itachi and literally dragged him from the usual group to an empty table in the corner.

"What do you think you're doing, Hidan?" Itachi questioned. Hidan took a deep breath.

"Yesterday Kakuzu's niece took me to a room with this glass door balcony thing, and I took some happy pills that made me forget where the hell I was, and then Kakuzu busted through the wall or something and threw me to the ground, again, but then picked me up and then I think I kissed him or he kissed me, and I woke up in the infirmary, and the creepy ghost chick from _The Grudge_ is my fucking doctor except worse." Hidan said everything in one breath and finally inhaled. Itachi was stunned.

"Wait-what did you just say?" he said confused. Hidan started again, but slower.

"Kakuzu's niece took me to a room with a-,"

"No! After that!" Itachi said.

"Happy pills-"

"After that, Hidan." Itachi pinched the bridge of his nose.

" _The Grudge_ , but worse."

"No! Before-" Itachi growled in frustration and lowered his voice to a whisper. "Did you just say you kissed Dr. Taki?"

"Look, it's not fucking new," Hidan said, and Itachi put his face in his hands.

"Oh god, Hidan, you better not have done anything with him."

"Oh yeah. We did, and you're the only one who fucking knows so you better shut your goddamn mouth about it and help me."

"With what!?"

"I gotta get out of here," Hidan said.

"Oh my god. Are you an idiot?" Itachi said. "There's no getting out of here, Hidan. I warned you everything was going to change for the worse, and if you keep doing stupid shit you're going to get a sentence worse than death. Trust me." Itachi got up from the table and left the cafeteria with the rest of the residents who were starting to file out of the dinning hall. Hidan waited until most of the residents were gone and then hurried up to the west wing.

He stopped at Kakuzu's door and contemplated going back to his room, but this meeting between them was long overdue, and who knew if Kakuzu would remain his doctor? Dr. Haruno was gone. Kakuzu could be next. Hidan thought about just barging in, but instead knocked on the door.

"Who's there?" came Kakuzu's deep voice.

"Who do you think?" Hidan breathed heavily as Kakuzu opened the door.

"We still have our daily sessions, yeah?" Hidan asked.

"Yes."

Hidan went inside and sat on the couch. Kakuzu sat in the chair across from him.

"Hidan, what happened yesterday was my fault. I'm sorry."

"Yeah," Hidan said nervously, "No problem."

"No, Hidan. It is a problem. I'm sorry."

"Look Kakuzu I feel all messed up and-"

"I'm so sorry, Hidan."

"Stop apologizing! It's fucking annoying! It's fine really. What happened is fine. Look," Hidan motioned to his body, "I'm okay! So relax. I just want to talk. Please." Hidan closed his eyes, "I just want to talk to you."

"Alright," Kakuzu said.

"What the hell is going on? Are there riots happening on the outside because of me?"

"They're more like protests, but yes."

Hidan shook his head, "And Konan?"

"She's dealing with the press as best as she can."

"God, I miss her so much. It's killing me, Kakuzu. I keep having visions of her being dragged away and locked up for no good reason other than being associated with me. This whole week is a blur and I can't even remember what happened yesterday."

"Hidan. Yesterday you overdosed on-"

"Yes I fucking know that!" Hidan exhaled. "Kakuzu, this is fucked up… right? I mean this thing between us. It's fucked up, right?"

"Yes. It is."

"Did you... kiss me yesterday?"

"You kissed me."

"Hmm... could've sworn it was _you_ who _kissed_ me."

"No."

"You kissed me back though, right?"

Kakuzu shook his head slowly in response.

"Well than. That's embarrassing," Hidan murmured and looked out the window. Kakuzu hesitated before speaking.

"I wanted to," he said, and Hidan turned his gaze back to Kakuzu.

"What?" Hidan asked.

"I couldn't because Kisame was right there, and you were delirious anyway, but it doesn't matter because Tsunade found out about everything."

"Oh shit. Are you gonna get fuckin' fired?"

"No. She couldn't do it because she's not the head of the institution anymore, and… I think there are other reasons as well." Hidan nodded in response.

"I heard it's going to start sucking a lot worse than it already does around here."

"Things are going to be different." Kakuzu said. The two were quiet for a few minutes. Kakuzu listened to the seconds tick away on the clock and stared at Hidan. He watched as the younger man fidgeted on the sofa and then finally Hidan met his eyes and broke the silence.

"Do you ever think about me? Or is this thing we have all in my head?" Hidan asked suddenly, "Because I think about you all the time. I think about all of our sessions and what we talk about, and I think about what you say, and the advice you give me. Now I can't stop thinking about Fuu. She's such a great kid. Why is she trapped in this hellscape, huh?"

"She has PTSD and schizoaffective disorder. She suffers from anorexia nervosa as well, but that seemed to be worse when she was younger. She may also have Todd's syndrome. We don't know though. Its undiagnosed."

Hidan laughed, "Kuzu, you're speakin' a different language."

"If she lived with me I would have to quit my job here to be with her all the time, but that would mean I wouldn't be able to support her. It's impossible to do by myself."

"Oh," Hidan said.

"I think about you too though."

"You probably think about throwing me off the roof," Hidan smiled.

"No. Not really."

"That explains why you kissed me when I was all drugged up yesterday." Kakuzu rolled his eyes.

"Well," Hidan continued, "why you _wanted_ to anyway." Kakuzu was baffled and amused at the same time.

"Hidan, how can you crack jokes at a time like this? You do know where you are right?"

"Oh I'm aware. It's just when I'm with you I feel like I'm somewhere else," Hidan said.

"Hidan," Kakuzu said.

"What?"

"I _still_ want to kiss you."

"Then what the fuck are you waiting for, Kuzu?"


	9. New Fucking Management

WOOHOO! That took a long time, but I've been writing beyond this chapter so I can update more regularly! Be on the lookout for my AO3 profile link that I'll post in the next chapter. It will have a few more new chapters as well! Thank you all for the support and happy reading!

* * *

Fire. Hidan was a raging fire, untamable and unpredictable. Kakuzu quickly closed the distance between them and kissed the younger man. Hidan parted his lips and moaned, pressing the older man closer to him.

"Kakuzu…" Hidan huffed deeply against his doctor's ear. Kakuzu closed his eyes and leaned forward, moaning when he felt Hidan's tongue against his own. Heat and desire pooled low within Kakuzu as he intensified their kiss.

The harder Hidan kissed Kakuzu the more the young Jashinist seemed to escape the reality he was living. Hidan felt safe in Kakuzu's arms, and far away from the rot and regret that agonized him each waking moment. If this asylum was Hell than Kakuzu's kisses and caresses were his salvation.

He felt Kakuzu snake a hand down his torso and stop at his waistband. Hidan opened his legs in invitation and Kakuzu seized the opportunity, grabbing hold of Hidan's hips and wrapping the man's legs around his waist. Hidan tangled his hands in Kakuzu's hair and keened as he felt the older man kiss down his neck.

There was an unexpected knock at the door and the two men froze. Hidan was wide-eyed and Kakuzu held his breath.

A few more knocks on the door.

"Hello? Dr. Taki? Are you there?" Shizune's alarmed voice sounded from the hallway and Kakuzu took a deep breathe.

"I'm in the middle of a session. Can you wait?" he said. Hidan smirked and groped Kakuzu's backside through the man's slacks. Kakuzu grabbed Hidan's wrist and mouthed an angry, "Stop it."

"I'm sorry Dr. Taki. It's urgent-" and then another voice, a hoarser, angerier voice, interrupted her.

"Unlock the door so that we may have a word. Now." Undoubtedly the voice belonged to Danzo.

Arousal suddenly disappeared and Kakuzu stood up to straighten himself out.

"What's going on?" Hidan said.

"Don't say or do anything stupid." Kakuzu walked over to the door and scowled when he finally unlocked it.

"Dr. Shimura," Kakuzu said. The man before him looked ancient, and his presence alone screamed a malevolence that could surely scare off small children.

"Let's not humor small talk, Dr. Taki," Danzo snarled stepping into the room. Kakuzu gave Shizune a nod to leave and closed the door.

"I know what you think about me, and you know what I think about you. Besides I'm not here to chat I'm here to finally accomplish the true goals of this establishment." Danzo circled around the couch Hidan was sitting on and sat in the chair across from him.

"So this is the one everyone is talking about. Not quite the devil the news makes him out to be. Isn't that right, doctor?"

"Are you gonna keep talking to me like I'm an exhibit, or are you going to tell me who the hell you are?" Hidan said. Danzo exhaled heavily and turned to Kakuzu.

"He is a handful though. I want him down to the medical wing for treatment tonight."

"Yeah. I don't fucking think so," Hidan gnarled through his teeth. Kakuzu stepped in front of Danzo.

"The progress Hidan is making in therapy is excelling my expectations and the medications are-"

"I don't care," Danzo spit, "You'll have him down tonight, or else I'll take him right now. Do you understand that, doctor?"

"What the hell!" Hidan yelled, "I'm not doing therapy sessions with anyone else but Kakuzu. Do you understand _that_ , asshole?" The statement made Danzo raise a brow, and Hidan hated the snobbish way the wrinkled man stared at him.

"I'm used to talking to Kakuzu. I _like_ talking to Kakuzu. Isn't there something in the handbook that says it's bad to switch around patients like they're fucking beanie babies?" Hidan snarled.

"He calls you by your first name?" Danzo questioned.

"It's a compromise I've allowed," Kakuzu stated.

"It's blatant disrespect if you ask me," Danzo responded, and rose from the chair, "I'll be taking him for differential treatment, along with other therapies the board agreed upon for him, this evening. As of tonight Hidan will no longer be your burden. I'll assign you different subjects to treat, but Hidan's well-being will belong to me." Hidan shot up from the couch.

"No fucking way!" Hidan was about to throw a punch when Danzo whipped his cane around and slammed it against the coffee table, breaking the glass top and shattering shards all over the carpet. Danzo turned to Kakuzu and narrowed his eyes.

"You have no control over your patient, and I am a first hand witness! You are unsuited to treat such an extreme case! Do you understand, or should I involve the board?" Danzo howled.

"Yes," Kakuzu growled.

"Good. Then we're finished here." Danzo walked out, the glass pieces fracturing under his feet with each step. The door clicked close and Hidan seethed.

"What the hell was that, Kakuzu?!" Hidan's voice came out as a hoarse whisper. Kakuzu shook his head and walked to the window.

"Are you fucking kidding me? I don't want to see that asshole! I mean, how could you let him do this to me?"

"I'm afraid he'll hurt Fuu if I don't comply," was the response Hidan received.

"Than fight it! He's a fucking scumbag! Say he's endangering the residents! He just broke a fucking table!"

"There's no one to go to anymore. The institute's entire board is made up of his allies." Hidan grabbed Kakuzu by the arm.

"You know what? Fuck you, Kakuzu. Fuck you for kissing me, fuck you for talking to me, and fuck your hope bullshit. You think you fucking know me? I didn't tell you shit." Hidan roughly let go and started for the door.

"I'm going to get you out, Hidan," Kakuzu said.

"What did you just say?"

"I'm going to get you out, and you'll be able to see Konan again, but you're going to have to do exactly as I say."

"What the fuck, Kakuzu? What the fuck! And then what? We'll be fuck buddies in jail? Or were you preferring we drive off into the sunset? If you want me dead than just kill me now because that's a motherfucking death sentence. "

"No, Hidan. I don't want that."

"This entire thing between us is fucked up! You said so yourself! What are we gonna do? You wanna get fucking married?"

"I know what it sounds like, but just let me explain-"

"No! This fantasy was a nice distraction from the fact that I'm going to die here and you're going to be a miserable old bastard for the rest of your goddamn life, but I just realized something, you're bat shit crazy just like the rest of us, Kakuzu! You're a fucking enigma or some shit! And I don't want to run away anymore, I told you, I'm done. I have nothing. No one is there for me, and you proved that when you didn't even try to stop that creep from treating me like the rest of the world does." Kakuzu saw red.

"You think you know how this world works? You made a stupid mistake because your little naive brainwashed ego told you were chosen by a made-up god, and if you don't shut the fuck up and listen it's going to cost you your god-damn life! Everyone wants you dead because you made a mistake you had no idea you were even making! You're not special, Hidan. There are a million other scumbags like you out there in the world, but because I got stuck with you I have to deal with the repercussions!"

"Then leave, asshole! And stop acting like you know me! You're a fucking coward, Kakuzu, and I'm done with this bullshit!" Hidan's energy was draining again, and he stumbled forward, "Everybody's gotta stop working me up like this… stop lying to me." he tried to lean on the window, but Kakuzu caught him and pulled him to his chest.

Hidan groaned, but with the adrenaline fading he couldn't resist the warmth the other man provided.

"Let me help you," Kakuzu's resolve was breaking and, even though he was able to hide it well, Hidan's words wounded him.

"I don't particularly like being touched. Did I ever mention that?" Hidan muttered. Kakuzu tightened his hold.

"You need therapy," Hidan sighed.

"I need _you_ ," Kakuzu breathed softly into Hidan's neck. Hidan broke the embrace and stumbled down. Kakuzu was trying so hard to open up to him, and Hidan could sense it.

"Then tell me," he said.

"Tell you what?" Kakuzu asked.

"Why you're so jaded. What the hell happened to you?"

"The world is cruel," Kakuzu's frustration was apparent as he murmured out the words. Hidan nodded.

"I know, but Fuu… She's just like you. I mean apart from throwing me against walls and punching me in the face," Hidan added and cocked a brow. Kakuzu sat down beside him.

"She's my sister's daughter."

"And your sister is?" Hidan questioned.

"Dead."

"Yeah, I thought so." Kakuzu wondered if Hidan really cared to know about his life. On more than one occasion he fantasized about sharing his story with Hidan, but the nerves of it all put a pit in his stomach. So he started off slow even though the words he said now were nothing like his daydreams and fantasies.

"My sister's name was Kanna." Hidan nodded in response and crossed his arms, leaning back into the couch.

"Yeah. Okay, that's a nice name. What was she like?"

"She was…" Kakuzu's mouth was dry as he tried to find a description, "troubled… but tried her best to take care of Fuu, and… she… I don't- she was… at times...I- I don't know." Kakuzu took a deep breath and started again, forcing himself to break down a decade of walls put up to hide the memories of his past, "She was there in the beginning, when Fuu was an infant, but, as Fuu got older, she decided to drink her time away. Sometimes she'd drop Fuu off and not come back for days. Weeks even. Fuu cried for her mother, and I'd tell her she would be back in the morning, but of course I had no idea where she was, or what she was doing. When Kanna was home she'd hit Fuu if she was too loud which, if you could imagine, was common. We fought a lot about it."

"Yeah. She loves to talk. Maybe that's why me and the kid get along so well," Hidan huffed.

"Fuu does fancy you, that's for sure. A few weeks ago she drew pictures of you and hung them all around the far west wing. It was quite traumatizing for me," Kakuzu scoffed.

"I'm sure it was," Hidan hummed. The two sat in an awkward silence.

"How did she die?" Hidan asked.

"Suicide."

"Oh," Hidan took a breath, but couldn't think of anything else to say. He wasn't good at comforting people, so he opted to take Kakuzu's hand. It wasn't a particularly touching gesture though. He pulled up the sleeve of Kakuzu's sweater and traced a scar that circled the man's arm.

"And what about these," he asked. Kakuzu frowned and pulled his sleeve back down.

"I was young, and stupid."

"You once told me you tried to kill someone and failed," Hidan said and looked up, "Was this what he did to you? Did he rip you to pieces?" Kakuzu bit his lip.

"No."

"You said you had a wife?" Hidan's curiosity was getting the better of him, and he never felt the need to understand another person so badly before. It was a completely new feeling; one that excited and terrified him at the same time.

"I was engaged."

"Can I ask about your daughter or are you going to choke me out or something?" Kakuzu bit his lip again and walked to his desk. Hesitantly, he opened the draw and reached for the picture frame. He could feel his breath shaking as he walked back.

"This… this is her," he cleared his throat, "and Fuu." Kakuzu felt cold and suddenly nauseous as he turned the frame over to reveal the picture. Hidan studied the image.

"Wow. She's a spitting image of you, ain't she? She's real beautiful, Kuzu." Hidan said with some astonishment.

"What's her name?" Hidan asked.

Kakuzu felt detached, drugged almost, as he tried to keep his composure. This was the first time in years since he'd spoken to anyone about his daughter, and although every inch of his self begged him to stop speaking he said her name.

"Tomiko." Kakuzu whispered her name as though it was a secret. He looked down for just a moment at his shaking hands, and he tried to swallow, but his mouth was dry and his throat felt tight.

"Tomiko, eh?" Hidan said, but after a few moments of silence looked up from the picture, jumping at Kakuzu's distressed appearance, "Holy shit! Kakuzu, are you alright?"

Kakuzu felt the breakdown coming, and it was completely out of his control. Torturous memories of anguish he managed to suppress for all this time were bubbling just at the surface, clawing their way into his skin, _into his scars_ , and the pain was unbearable.

"Hidan I can't do this. Not right now." Hidan took a breath, taking one last look at the photo, and placed it on the arm of the couch.

"I get it. I know it sucks talking about this shit. Reliving it and all that," Hidan said putting a hand on Kakuzu's thigh, "but, honestly, it's crazy to see that you, the guy who threw me away for four weeks to lose my mind in a cell, have emotions. I gotta tell ya though, It's not nearly as satisfying as I thought it would be though." Kakuzu turned and wrapped his shaking arms around Hidan to bury his face in the younger man's shoulder.

"Plus I don't like seeing you like this. I can see all the pain in your eyes. I've always been able to," Hidan added.

"I'm going to come with you tonight. I'm going to oversee the entire session," Kakuzu said.

"Please, I'm not fucking kid. You don't have to hold my hand. I'll just bullshit my way through his questions."

"No. I don't trust them, and I'm afraid they're going to hurt you." Hidan felt Kakuzu's deep voice vibrate into the crook of his neck as he spoke.

"What? Are you saying they might dissect me or something."

"I don't know. I was speaking with Tsunade the other day about this, and there's a lot of tension between her and the new board. The final push to pass the notion to make Danzo the head of the institute was your arrival. It sparked so much press that he used it to manipulate everyone."

"Fuck. So you're saying it's all my fault."

"It was going to happen one way or another. They were looking for an opportunity to supersede Tsunade, and they found it, but it doesn't matter."

"Oh," Hidan said sarcastically, "and why is that."

"Because I'm going to get you out." Hidan sighed at the statement.

"I don't get it. You want to risk everything for me?"

"I think the people around here have a false sense of how much I actually have."

"Oh yeah? How much do ya' actually got than?"

"I have Fuu."

"Well. That's pretty damn important, Doc," Hidan said. Kakuzu lifted his head up.

"And you." Hidan's breath hitched and an unfamiliar feeling rushed through him. It was frightening, and Hidan could hear his own heart beat. He could feel it pulsing underneath his palms, in his legs, his neck, head. Hidan knew he was erratic, rude, volatile, and irresponsible most of the time. He didn't want to live by society's rules, and he dreamed of that one thing to finally put an end to his longing to truly understand what his purpose was in this world. That's one of the reasons he acted out so much, and part of the reason he was in this mess in the first place, but looking at Kakuzu now, it was so easy to disregard everything he'd ever known.

"How are you going to get me out than?"


End file.
